Saturday, August 20, 2016

I'm trucking... Um... Ramblin' Again.

     So… it’s been another week and I’m still alive. Okay, I’m still having bits of coughing and I’m so over it. Oh well, I am getting better.
     It’s gonna be a rambling kind of post I think… Truckers work, right?
     Oh. My. God. The right-wing wack-a-doodles in North Carolina would fucking lose their minds here! We went to a pub for a drink one afternoon and I had to go use the rest room. By the way… they really do call it the loo here. Anyway, I go and low and behold, it is a unisex bathroom! Yep, you did read that correctly. There was a row of individual stalls, each with their own solid walls and locking doors. Along one wall was a bank of sinks, and I have to tell you, it was all very foo-foo/she-she decorated. Hell, my own bathroom wasn’t as nice as these. But can you imagine? Everyone uses the same lavatories? Oh hell, those religious nut-jobs would faint dead away, and then convulse over it all, possibly pissing their pants in the meantime.
     Now, I was also told that this is quite common and they were right. Another place we went do had the same set up. I think it is a great idea. Just do away with the whole male/female thing and throw ‘em all together and be done with it. How ‘bout them crackers. Oh, I’m not talking about the people crackers, just plain ol’ saltines would work.

     Speaking of crackers…
     Don’t’cha know that those bed-sheet-wearing fools would lose their shit? Well, I can see it. I mean… anyone who runs around in white sheets, with cone-shaped dixie cups on their heads with a veil aren’t all that mentally stable on the best of days. Bless their hearts, and I do mean that in the most loving Christian way.
     What do ya mean I can’t speak English… Yeah, that’s what I’ve been told over and over and over again. I don’t speak English I speak American. Well… fuck me runnin’ with a jelly doughnut. I do so speak English. Just because some of these Aussies can’t figure out what I’m sayin’ doesn’t mean I ain’t speakin’ it. I mean honestly, what the hell does fair dinkum mean anyway. Really? And then you wonder why I need a translator? Pfft… as long as no one thinks I’m from Texas again, I’m good.

     Now, don’t y’all go getting me wrong or nuttin’, because I have some very good friends who live in Texas. They are wonderful people. Good people. But when people see and hear people like that Ted Cruz fella, well… they tend to think people from Texas are a bit nuts.
     I’m from Tennessee and there are more ties between our two states than you could shake a stick at, even twice on Sundays! But I still don’t want people thinking I’m from there. Honestly, people look at the way Politicians there run things and they shake their heads in bewilderment. They aren’t sure if they are for real or not. Now before you good folk from the yellow rose state try and come jump my shit; start electing people who aren’t so bat-shit cra-cra. Ya hear?
     Oh, and don’t you think for one minute that the good folk of Tennessee don’t have their own whack-jobs, because they do. Yeah, listen to Trey Crowder’s take on some of the shit they try and pull. Just somehow, it don’t make the national, much less international news. I guess somehow we have figured out how to keep ‘em on a short leash.
     Yeah, so I’m a bit crazy…
     I’m not the bat-shit-scare-people kinda crazy though. Okay, sometimes I might scare people, but it isn’t like I’m chasin’ ‘em around with a gun and bible type nuts. I’m just the fun kind of crazy, or so I think anyway. I do tend to sometimes open my mouth and stuff just kinda rolls out. It isn’t like I intentionally try and sound like I just escaped from a mental ward somewhere, but it seems that’s how some people look at me.
     As TAT (the Aussie Tart) so succinctly put it: I’m kitchen while she’s management. I guess that is a fairly good description. She stays all calm and cool when shit goes down and says things way more properly than I do. She doesn’t even raise her voice or cuss none. Me, I just tell them how it is before I tell them to go fuck themselves. If I’m trying to be real polite I’ll just say “Fuckest Thou!” Yeah, that’s about as proper as I get for the most part.
     Now it isn’t like I can’t be management, but it also means that I have to really think about it and hell-fire, that’s just too much work and it might give me a headache. I am Southern after all and I was raised with manners. I can do it, but at my age and having spent most of my career in a hot ass kitchen, yelling, because it’s really loud, and cussing every other word is the norm, it’s really hard to revert to being a sweet Southern Gentleman. Besides, I really don’t give two shits to be honest.

     Was there a point? Um…
     Not sure if there was or not. I’m just gonna move right along because that’s what I’m the mood to do.
     Oh! I have a new love interest. Well, kinda-sorta, but not really. Maybe I’m just a huge fan of Trae Crowder. I’ve shared a few of his video blog posts on FB. The man just cracks me up and if he weren’t straight, married and with two kids, I’d so make a play for him. He’s got really cool eyebrows too! Yeah, he’s my kind of guy. He speaks my language which is hillbilly slang. He makes so many good points about life and just stuff in general. He really does make me proud to say I’m from East Tennessee. I’ve provided a link for y’all to check him out. He’s also on tour. Yeah, I’m so going to make a point of trying to see him live and in person.
And yes, he is wearing a Tennessee Vols shirt. :D
    Check him out... he's hysterical. You can get to know him here.
     Alright… I was mean…
     Yeah, I came down pretty hard on some of the Aussies last week. It wasn’t like the government didn’t deserve it and more. I just saw something about Nauru. Yeah, they need a good Southern Red-Neck ass whoopin’ over that one. Just goes to prove my point though… we all need to keep an eye open. We can make a difference, even if it is just one kid, one person at a time. Yep, we can, I swear we can. So go and do something, no matter how small for someone. Get ya some Karma Coins in the bank.      Have a grrreat week, y’all.


  1. Can I just climb on that last guy and have him take me for a ride, please??!!!

  2. Absolutely Love Trae Crowder! Really smart loquacious guy! Hahaha Patricia Logan!! Great choice! Have a Great week! Love from Alaska