Sunday, February 8, 2015

Great Big Knockers? Huh?


     I’m sitting here with this song stuck in my head, ‘Pretty Legs and Great Bit Knockers’. Yes, the Divine Ms. M., none other than Bette Midler herself. How did I get this song-worm stuck in my noggin’, you ask? Well, why don’t I tell you…

     My friend, who I’ll be going to see and stay with in Australia, had never heard of Sophie Tucker, or better yet, Bette’s version of Sophie Tucker. I can’t tell you how many times I've heard those jokes and yet I still laugh at them. Yes, they are much a part of my young adulthood as learning to drive a car. Which, by the way, was a 1961 Cadillac Fleetwood. The damn thing was twenty-two feet long. Try learning to parallel park that bitch!

It was the same color as this too!
     Anyway, I digress…where was I? Oh, Bette Midler. I did see her in concert many years ago. I think I was doing drugs. Matter of fact, I’m sure I was. No, I don’t remember what kind…stop that. The friend that I went with and I went to Backstreet afterwards and danced our asses off the rest of the night and then even had the nerve to go to The Cove later, an all-night gay bar. The next day when I had to go to work, I was a complete wreck. But that’s what we did back then. We partied and worked. Just ask Anthony Bordain. He did the same thing. It is an evening I will never forget. Great memories.

     What was I talking about again? I swear I've got old-timers, or CRAFT. Can’t-Remember-A-Fucking-Thing, for those who don’t know CRAFT. Oh, Bette Midler…right. See what I mean? I talk about Bette Midler and then I go off on some tangent about parts of my life. That is what I’m talking about. The woman was so much a part of my life, that, well she is just kinda stuck there. While trying to explain to this poor lost soul who Sophie Tucker was and then Bette Midler, who really did expand on the woman’s life a bit, I went to YouTube to see if I could find something to show her. Can you believe it? They can’t view some of that stuff in Australia. Those poor depraved people. Kinda like the starving strippers there.

     You know, YouTube should have to have license to watch it or something. I can’t get on there without spending hours upon hours looking at stuff. It really is addictive. I think I’m just going to go look at one thing and then next thing I know it’s like four hours later. WTF? Where the hell did the time go? So it was with doing a bit of research on the Divine Ms. M.

     Also while doing a little bit of research I found out that she is going to be in Florida this year! OMG! I want to go so badly. I’m seriously thinking of like selling my body or something to be able to go. Okay, strike that… I doubt I could get a ticket for ten bucks. It would be like a birthday present to myself. If I win the lottery I’ll buy that VIP Meet & Greet package. Hell, It’s only $1,285.00! I’ll think about that. I also really do need a recliner. Well my feet do at any rate. Something to think about I guess.

This is also the cover for her latest album, which is great!
     What else… I’m excited about my trip Down Under. I still can’t believe I’m going. Another thing I never thought I’d be able to do. So far I know that I will be in Sydney and Melbourne. There will be a few side trips and I will be able to visit on of my favorite vineyards. Wine is always a good idea in my book.

     I still haven’t heard from any of my Aussie friends about finding me stripper bars. I can only assume that there aren't any, not that I’m surprised. The poor starving dears. Now I’m wondering if they are going to have those outdoor urinals as do the Brits. That could prove amusing. I was just talking about that the other day with my friend Petronella. Damn, but we did have a good time.

     Oh, thank you everyone for the nice compliments on A Valentine’s Day Memory. It is a fun write and I do enjoy those characters. Yes, there will be more of the Sutton family. Not sure when. They’ll let me know when they’re ready.

     Sigh… now on a more serious note… I’m moving, once again. Unfortunately things didn't work out where I am the way that I thought they would. I also have given notice to vacate when I thought a certain someone was coming from New Zealand, so I’m kind of stuck with that decision. But I do have a new place to land, if not permanently, but it will work out. I hate moving, but it can’t be helped. At any rate, I’m going to be very busy over the next few weeks getting things fixed up and moving. I’ll try and keep up here, but can’t promise anything right now. But hey, it’s a new adventure, right?

     Puppy update: I keep trying to tell myself how horrible these little creatures are. That they are nothing more than little eating, pooping, sleeping machines. It isn't working. They are just so damn cute! They are now starting to develop personalities and being playful. Just too damn funny when they growl and bark, or squeak is more like it. And no, I’m not keeping them. I think that 6 dogs is just a bit much.

     I did a blog post for Love Bytes this past week. The idea came from the whole Facebook banning picts thing that Jesse Jackman and Dirk Caber have been going through. There is a lot of telling of myself in that little piece. It shows a bit of how I was raised and why I keep preaching on doing for others. I am sure that a lot of you may be tired of it, but it is part of who I am so…get used to it.

     Now, with all that being said, it is time to tell everyone to go off and do good for someone else. Collect some of those good Karma Coins to put in the piggy bank.

     Have a great week, y’all. 


Ain't her purty?


  1. See that man IS purty! But I have seen the puppies and they win!!! It was great to talk to you in the week, we must do that again. I'll bring the doughnuts ;-)

  2. will you be in Melbourne for Queermance? I will be there!

  3. awesome blog post as Always !Always a highlight to my sunday :)

  4. I always look forward to your blog on Sundays. Good luck with the move.