Sunday, November 2, 2014

Pushing Back

     What can I say? Ha! Plenty. One of the reasons why I took myself off Facebook is because I thought I would open my mouth and really spout off. Not a good thing. When I am this angry, it is best that I just step back, take a deep breath, give myself a time out and then think about what I want to say. 

     To the dismay of most, I have a pretty thick skin. Spending over thirty years in a professional kitchen will do that to you. Don’t believe me? Read Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential. You want to know what tough is? Read that book. 

     Yes, I may have lit a firestorm off with a guest post blog on Love Bytes, but it surely wasn’t intentional. 

      Somehow, my words were taken the wrong way. In no way, shape or form did I mean to put any female down, especially female authors. For fuck’s sake, one of my best friends is an M/M author who happens to be female. I read her stuff all the time. If I see something that I think isn’t quite right, I tell her about it. Don’t believe me? Ask her. 

     I will say it once again: If I offended anyone, I am sorry, it was not intentional. 

     Years and years—and more years—ago, when I was but a wee child of like four, I remember my father saying something to my mother about not liking something on the television. Granted, this was years before remote controls and as I remember the T.V. was actually black and white. My mother’s response? Then get up off your ass and change it. 

     I feel the same way about books. If I don’t like a book then I put it down and move on to the next one. I sure as hell don’t throw a pissy fit and cry about it. One reason why I stopped doing reviews. Sorry to say, most of the ones I was given were total crap. I had a hard time saying that. Not only did I not want to hurt someone’s feelings, because I know what it takes to write a book, but I also felt that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, then it is best to not say anything at all. 

     After reading some of the comments left on that blog, I’d say some people didn’t get that lesson. Yeah, I can’t point too hard. I often don’t say very nice things, but I sure don’t say them to be hurtful. Or at least I try not to. Of course, I know where most of it came from, or rather who. Bitch has been riding or after my ass for almost two years now. She really does need a new hobby.

     Now it has come to my attention—again—that I have been accused of bullying and now even assaulting Zathyn Priest. That is an outright lie. I never bullied the man and never touched him until the very last day of GRL at the breakfast where I hugged him and even kissed him on the cheek, although he did have a cold. Yes, there were witnesses. WTF? AND if that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve also been accused of bullying Kade Boehme at LAST year’s GRL. That would have been difficult since I only met the man this past summer. I had no clue as to who or what he was till then. 

     Just more twaddleness—or would that be twaddling?—to add to the list of GRL. Oh, don’t worry about not allowing me to come to another GRL. I have no intention of ever going again. I didn’t even want to go this year and would have cancelled had I not promised that I would be there for others. Plus it would have meant leaving a roommate high and dry. I graduated high school many decades ago and reliving it isn’t something I care to do again, first time was bad enough. So you can keep that shit. No need to worry, I won’t be going again. 

     Yeah, yeah, I can hear the gasps and groans from here. ‘Oh Max, what have you gone and done now?’ Why can’t I keep my mouth shut? Just not my style and quite frankly, I really don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks of me other than my family and close friends. I’m fairly certain they know I’m not a bully or a chauvinist. Pig yes, just not a chauvinist. 

     Now, as to my future…well, that remains to be seen. I think I am going to give this whole retirement thing another chance. Heaven knows I have enough to keep me busy without having to deal with all this self-publishing stuff. It is a lot of work, in case you didn’t know. 

      Between all the whiney ass bitches blasting me, the piracy of books, and the issues with Amazon and ARe, I’m just not sure it is worth it anymore. I’m at the age where all I really want is peace. If I do choose to write again, it will be for me. It will be what I want to write. I will write as an openly gay man with decades of experience of being a gay man. If someone wants to read it, then fine. If they like it, fine. If they don’t, then move on. You can’t  move on, then just whine to someone else, because I really don’t give a flying rat’s ass. I have a life. If you don’t, that's not my problem. 

     Anyway…thanks to all who have supported me and continue to buy my books. 

     I finally found that bicycle shop that I’d been looking for while riding the lovely, simply lovely, lovely-lovely, K.C. Wells and wonderfully snarky Lauren around town while they were here. Monday, I’ll take it in to be refurbished for that poor kid down the street. Might see if he is available to help out with some yard work around here so that he’ll have a little pocket money for xmas. I’ll let you know how that goes. 

      For those of you who read my mad ramblings know what is coming next. Go forth and do something for someone else, please. It is getting cold out and we still have way too many young people, gay and straight, out on the streets, homeless. Show them a little love, won’t you? My charity of choice is Lost and Found in Atlanta. They take in gay youth who are homeless. They always put up a Christmas Wish list for these poor kids. Search them out and see what they need. While out shopping, pick up a little something for some poor kid that has basically nothing. A lot of times it is just underwear.

     Have a grrreat life y’all. 



  1. Max, as long as you are happy, I am happy for you. I will stand by you. We have to do what we do to make our lives happy for us, not everyone else. xoxo Elaine

  2. You are a beautiful soul and I am honored to be among your friends. You're like a gooey, yummy center surrounded by a hard crunchy shell: worth the effort. People who don't know the real you are the one slinging their poo at you. It won't stick because you rise above it. I am proud of the way you have handled this juvenile character assassination. No one deserves this treatment, least of all such a kind, lovely man. You know that you have my love and support along with that of many others.

  3. Do you, Max. Do whatever you have to do to be happy. Brush that dirt off your shoulder and keep it moving. I as well as many others love and support you.

  4. OK, just killed myself on the internet by posting a comment on that Love Bytes blog..........but:

    Max - do what you have to do. Be happy; be sane; be content in what you achieve; and if at all possible - please continue to write. :)

    Total love and support from me - always :)

  5. Hold your head high .I have only 'known' you for a short time but you sound pretty upfront to me. Keep on smiling Max

  6. Big hugs! You know I will always want to read what you write, but I want you to be happy! Do whatever works for you hun. Just remember so many people love you and your work.