Sunday, November 30, 2014

It's Starting To Look A Lot Like Crazy

     I’d like to start off first by referring you back to a post I did almost a year ago. You can find it in the archives, December 1, 2013. It was a rather long post, now that I come to read through it. It has to do with why I don’t do Christmas Cards. If you’re interested, that is. I’m not going to go into it again, but it might explain a lot. 

     So…I have this new man in my life, as some of you may know. He’ll be here very soon. It’ll be nice to be in the same time zone. Anyway, he found out today that I have OCD. Not as bad as it used to be, but with some things, yeah, it’s pretty bad. 

     How did he found out? I posted a few pictures of some Xmas presents that I had wrapped. They look all right. Far from perfect, but good enough to where I’m not embarrassed. I think I could have done better, but what the hey? I got ’em done. You see, this is the reason why I hate wrapping presents. They are never quite perfect. There’s that OCD kicking in. 

      Things that set me off? My toothbrush: it has to be in the same place each and every time. I hate toothpaste in the sink. How much time does it actually take to rinse out the sink? I hate getting into an unmade bed. Drives me nuts. The biggie? Don’t mess with my kitchen. I put things back in the same place each and every time. Little Max used to drive me nuts with this. Most of it was just pure laziness, the other was just not caring. Grrrr. Yeah, I am one of those who alphabetize my herbs and spices. I’m better than I was on this. I used to separate the herbs from the spices! 

     Clutter is one of those things that used to just freak me the hell out. I’ve gotten better with this. It’s not one of those things that I have to immediately fix. However, there will come a point when I can’t take it and I’ll go on a cleaning binge. Not such a bad thing in my book. 

     I used to be a lot worse. For example, I used to starch and iron my paper money as well as wash the coins. Yeah, I know… kinda freakish, right? I used to organize my closet first by shirt type and then by color. I don’t do that anymore. Okay, that’s a lie, I still organize by shirt type. And no, I do not hang T-shirts. They are all folded the same way and then organized by type: casual, bar type, gay bar type and then sports. I don’t arrange by color anymore if that helps. Yep, pants the same way, although I sort those by season. 

     I knew I was in bad shape when I started organizing lube and condoms by type, manufacturer, color and expiration dates. Don’t even get me started on butt plugs, dildos and tit-clamps. Let’s just say I knew which ones were dishwasher safe. It was then and there that I decided I needed to do something about it and I did. I’m not totally healed but I sure am a lot better than I was. 

      I can tell now you’re shaking your heads. I can feel it. Before you get all judgmental I have a perfectly reasonable excuse for all my madness. My mother and my sister were/are the biggest hoarders you’d ever want to know. With that comes clutter. It’s a disease that I call surfaceitis. Neither of them had a clean surface on anything—kitchen counters, tables or shelves—nothing. If it was flat, it had something on it, often times never seeing the surface underneath. Drove me nuts as a kid and manifested itself into full blown OCD. 

      The biggest problem with OCD is that it is exhausting. You’re constantly tidying things up, putting things away, washing, dusting, cleaning. If I’d thought about it some thirty years ago, I would have bought stock in Johnson & Johnson. I swear I would have made a fortune on just my purchases of Pledge alone! 

     And before y’all start pointing fingers and laughing, take a good hard look in the mirror. What are your neuroses? We all have them. Come on, admit it. Hmmm? 

     I have four presents left unwrapped. Every year I like to participate in the Toys for Tots drive. Not only does it help local kids have a little brighter Christmas, but I usually get to drool over a hot Marine or two. The problem I have is I want to fucking wrap those presents! UGH… just drives me nuts to have them sitting there begging to be wrapped up in some festive paper with over the top bows. Yeah, more OCD. 

     At any rate, I’d like to issue a challenge. How many of you would be willing to get just one little gift for either Toys for Tots or an equally good charity? Don’t have to go overboard. You can get a really decent toy for under ten dollars. 

     Another worthwhile charity is Lost-n-Found in Atlanta. 

     Normally they have a list of things to get for needy kids, but it either isn’t up yet or they may not be doing it this year. If not, you can buy a brick for the renovation of the new home they are redoing for the kids. Either way…you rack up some pretty valuable Karma coins. 

     Have a grrreat week, y’all, 



  1. you are one hell of an awesome man , just saying <3

  2. Aww Max! I would not make fun. I hope you and Emmett find a way to get along and you continue to get better.

    By the way, I met a guy at the vet yesterday (long story) that looked a lot like you. Though no red hair, he had a stylin' handlebar mustache.

  3. Aww Max, you are an amazing man. Love is never easy, but worth the adjustments �� it takes two & it is 50/50. OCD is in me also!! Peanuts trucks are so organized, til his feet hit the front door. I have more OCD at work than home?! Yeah, I don't get that one either! LOL