Friday, June 13, 2014

So, here I sit...

     So, here I sit next to the…uh-hmm…lovely K.C. Wells, having my morning coffee. It is interesting to see the view she has while writing. It reminds me of home in Tennessee.

What a view.
   I'm hurrying trying to get this written before I have to run shower, pack and get ready for our trip to Paris. This is a lifelong dream of mine. I've always wanted to visit Paris, and the rest of France actually, and eat my way through it. Can’t help it. It’s the foodie in me. BUT before our early morning flight tomorrow morning, we are going to tour the Titanic museum and do a little tour of the town. Another thing on the bucket list being checked off. I can't FUCKING wait!

     However, there is a small rant I've got to do. I have to get this off my chest before I explode. The English. When are they going to learn their own language? Christ on a crutch, they have some of the most strange phrases I've ever heard. “Gone pear-shaped”. What the hell? And there are some who I know are speaking English, but I can't even understand hardly anything they are saying. They might as well be speaking Latin for all I know! 
     This leads me to the basis for my rant— 
     I flew Virgin Airlines over to the UK. The staff on board were all English, or I presumed at any rate, by their accents. There was this lovely flight attendant named Becky. She was great. Very attentive. Very polite and quite lovely. However, she had this thing about using the word lovely
     “Oh, lovely. Isn't that lovely. Lovely, lovely. Oh, you’re lovely.” Honestly, before I got off that plane, I was ready to strangle her. And it gets worse! Now I can’t stop saying it! Everything is so fucking lovely! I’m going to get a rubber band, place it around my wrist and snap it HARD every time I say it. It is killing me. I have never in my life used that word so much as I have in this past week. I mean really? Can you see me running around saying how lovely everything is? Really? Me? Ugh, I'm ready to slit my wrists. It is ruining my whole persona! Patrick Darcy… HELP! 
     What makes it all so much worse is that both K.C. Wells and her hubby have picked up on it and are now teasing me about it. ARRRRGGGGHHH. So painful. 
     Speaking of which…her hubby has quickly become my best male friend. It has been a long time since I've really had a male friend who I get along with so well. We are so much alike. We get on like a house afire. The problem here is he is soooo very English. I have to laugh because there are times I know I will say something and he looks as if he'd like to crawl under a rock. Poor guy. I do kinda feel sorry for him. 
     I'm actually writing this a day early because I know I won't have time to do it tomorrow and get it posted. Have an early flight in the morning, and even though I get up early, there won't be enough time I'm afraid. This leaves me to ask a question of everyone. Would you prefer I keep, or try to keep, with the Saturday posts, or would you guys like another day? Sometimes Saturdays get really hectic for me. Just wondering. Didn't used to always been like this, but things do change. 
     OH! There’s another thing…public restrooms here. I nearly fell over when I saw what they call them here in the Isle of Wight. Get this… ‘Public Conveniences’! BWHAHAHAHA

     I went from watching guys whip it out in public and piss in a bullet shaped open-air urinal to ‘public conveniences’. Talk about a contradiction. I'm now looking forward to Pride in London to see if they have those same type of out-in-the-open-for-all-to-see urinals. I'm told they do. If they do, I'm going to grab Petranella and stake them out again, this time in old London town. See if we have as much luck in bribing the boys to do a Full Monty. I swear I'm going to get pics this time!

     Before I can do that, I must eat my way through Paris. Major book signing on Saturday at Librairie Les Mots a la Bouche. I've been told that this is the largest gay bookstore in Paris. Not quite sure what to expect. I'm sure I'll find out. Look out Paris, here I come. 
     I also will be doing something that I have been working on for some time now. I think y'all will be pleased with the finished product. I'm a terrible tease, aren't I?

     Okay, till next week… Stop reading this trash and go do something productive. Do something nice for someone else. A total stranger. Trust me, you'll make them and yourself feel better. 
     Be kind, y'all. 
Because I can.


  1. I am giddy right now! So glad you are having a great time. It comes through clearly in your writing that you are just having a LOVELY trip. I hope it doesn't go pear shaped on the way to Paris. My grandmother was British! I will take your blog posts any way I can get them. Whatever day is best for you is best for me. Love you!

  2. I am glad you have a "Lovely" time! :-P Enjoy Paris, I think is a lovely city!.