Friday, January 26, 2018

A Follow Up...

     So… It’s been a week since I kind of dropped the bomb shell with that Special Blog Post. I’m happy to announce that I’ve received nothing but support. To be honest, I did expect a little push back, but no, there was none. Thank you one and all for that. I’m not so sure how I would have handled that.
     As I stated, there are so many readers who are wonderful people and quite of few of whom I call friends. It does seem unfair that I withdrew myself from them, but I really did need to take some time for me. Betrayal is a horrible thing and that’s how I felt. Completely betrayed.
     Last year I took an unofficial type poll and asked about betrayal. It was in the form of a multiple choice. What surprised me was 99% of those who answered immediately went to the form of cheating on a spouse, lover or partner. That was somewhat telling if you ask me. What I was really hoping to see a little more of was the betrayal of friendship which was the purpose of the poll. I only got one response that mentioned that one. I found that a little unsettling.
     For me personally, I think I could handle and get over a partner cheating on me sexually more so than a betrayal of a friendship. Hell, I’ve dealt with the sexual cheating thing, and yes, while I made him pay dearly through the nose, I got over it. And yes, I did enjoy torturing his butt.
     I don’t know… there is just something that really digs deep inside me, really hurts my soul when there is a friend that I trust, confide in, open myself up to who treats that trust so casually. Or in one particular case totally trashed it and then hoped I’d forgive her. Had that been the first time, I might have done that. The last time was worse, so much more worse that I cut that person out of my life totally. I don’t want that type of person close to me. It’s just not worth it in the long run.
     Remember, there are at least two sides to every story. I was so surprised when I got the cold shoulder or completely ignored afterwards by people in the M/M community. Now, just so you know, there were only two people who I told about this break. To me, that’s something that is nobody else’s business. Obviously the other party didn’t think so. It felt like highschool all over again. I’m still not going to go into it. It hurt. It hurt a lot, but life goes on.
     Stepping back…
     I have to admit, stepping away from all social media did me a world of good. There was no drama, no bad things glaring at me, no politics and no badly behaving authors. If there some big blow up going on, I was blissfully unaware. Did I suffer from withdrawal? Nope. Not one little bit.
     Since last week I did sneak on and just have a wee look around. What I saw made me want to run away. There is was. Rants, politics, hate, angst and all the things that make me want to recede back into my hermit shell. What is one to do? How do you avoid all this stuff? Sadly, you can’t. I have yet to figure out how to return to social media without seeing all the stuff I don’t want to see. I am still undecided whether I want to jump back in. I guess time will tell.
     Other stuff…
     We had record temperature lows last week. I’m talking 27F degrees! I was freezing my butt off. My poor feet suffered the worst. I didn’t think they would ever thaw out. Unfortunately they weren’t the only casualties. Many of my poor tropical plants didn’t survive. I was so heartbroken when I saw all the brown leaves or my ornamental ginger lying on the ground, withered beyond recognition. I am hoping that I can trim some things back and they might come back. All I can do is try. Thankfully, the weather has improved and we are back to a more normal climate.
     I have this little space heater that I keep around just for my feet. The dogs and I fought over who was going to be closer. It seems they didn’t much care for that cold-ass weather either. Today, they are all outside sunning themselves out on the deck. I keep asking them if they need sunscreen. Damn dogs… they never answer. I might as well have been talking to the wind.
     The big stuff…
     Over the past few years I’ve been collecting stuff for a new kitchen: cabinets, handles, tile and other stuff. Did you know it’s expensive to redo a kitchen? If not, let me tell you, it is! But finally, I got the project started. I wasn’t able to do any of the work myself, which was the intention. However, I was able to find a good handyman who was able to get the job done. It has been long and tedious, a lot of dust, a lot of sandwiches, but finally, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Only a few more things and it will be completely done!
     When this project is completely finished, I’m going to do some serious cooking. A friend’s birthday is coming up so I think I may just have to have a little party. Can’t decide on all I want to cook, but that’s half the fun of it if you ask me. I am seriously considering throwing down a good ol’ fashioned BBQ. What’cha think?
     Around the first of the month I was able to order a case of snacks for one of my LGBT youth centers through Smile.Amazon.com. It was only $26.00, so what the hell, right? It will help with those afterschool munchies I’m sure. What have you done recently to earn some of those good Karma coins?
     Y’all have a great week,
     Max


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