Saturday, April 30, 2016

Playing Catch Up...

     So… It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done a blog. The first week I missed was because I was in New York City for the Rainbow Book Fair. It was a busy weekend, and to be honest, I was taking a lot of pain killers for my feet. I had to admit to myself that I just can’t do the things that I used to do. I knew that day was coming, but I chose to ignore it and push ahead.
     The reality is that I’m not going to be able to put off the surgery that was recommended some five years ago. I have yet to follow through with setting up the appointments, but they will be happening.
     The second week I missed was simply laziness on my part. Well, that and I was still having issues and a lot of pain, but mostly, I was just putting it off. There are times when I’m just not in a good frame of mind to do a blog. I often try to keep it upbeat if not downright silly.
     This past week… I was thinking. When I have a problem, I like to sit on it a bit. Let it percolate and see what comes out. It’s a process for me. There are times when it is a good thing and then… not so good. This was a not so good time.
     I had a conversation with someone that I enjoy being around, respect and consider a friend. Of course I knew that he was religious and I can respect that. To each their own. As long as I don’t have to listen to the rhetoric, I’m good… up to a point.
     My writing, my work, is a big part of my life. I was talking about the book that I just finished and the one that was coming out in both French and Italian, as well as the novella that should be available around the same time, the novella for charity.
     When I didn’t get a response I looked and their face was tight, eyes averted as they continued to work. I knew what they was thinking, but I asked anyway. I wasn’t surprised at the response. I figured it was coming.
     “You know I don’t believe in that. Your lifestyle is your choice and I can’t condone it.”
     Okay, I get it. There are a lot of people out there who still believe it is a choice. But someone who is that intelligent, that smart, who still believes that amazes me. That I just don’t understand.
     Now realize I’ve dealt with this for years. I’m no spring chicken and I’ve learned to accept that people just are going to think that and move on. I always think the same thing…
     Yeah, I chose this. Who in their right mind would want to be gay, to be an outcast?
     That is how I used to think. To some degree I still think that, right before I say “Fuck ‘em”.
     So why did it hurt this time? As I said… I like this person. I respect this person. I like being around this person. The realization that the feeling wasn’t mutual was like being slapped in the face with a cold, wet, dead fish.
     I also understand that this a belief that has been ingrained in them for most, if not all of their life and it isn’t going to change anytime soon, if ever. Been there, done that. Doesn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.
     I will continue doing what I normally do. I won’t say anything, but I won’t hide who I am either. There’s no doubt that there are things that I say that will make them uncomfortable and there are times I purposefully do it but always in fun. But hey, that’s who I am. Yeah, I admit… I brought in powdered doughnuts one day and snickered the entire time. If they only knew, right?
     Who wants to bet that this is going to find its way into a storyline in a book? Of course it is… sometime, somewhere.
     Speaking of books…
     Did you know that I just finished a book? It has now gone through numerous beta reads and is now at the editors. It is a little something different than what I’ve done before. Yeah… I know… I never seem to stick with any one type of sub-genre. What some of the beta readers have said...
"I think this is the best book you've written so far."
"I have book hangover, thanks for that."
"Five paragraphs and I'm hooked. Five stinkin' paragraphs."
"I hate you and love you at the same time."
     I gave you My Hero: The Olympian, which is more on the fluffy side. This time, not much fluff. I took on a serious subject that I feel needs more attention. Once again, I took part of a story I heard on the news, then a piece from somewhere else, a little of this, a little of that. Damn, it sounds a little bit like how I cook!
     Anyway, I hope that everyone likes it. Might reserve a tissue box. Oh don’t worry, you’ll laugh and smile too. It’s not all gloom and doom.

     There is another book that will be out soon; a novella. It’s called A Bear in Paris. This is only one of four books in this series. The other three are written by some other wonderful authors and it is all for charity. I’ll go more into that before it is released. I think everyone will like it. I know I loved being able to write it. It really is my love affair with Paris and the great people that I had the opportunity to meet there.
     You know I'm always preaching on about helping others, right? Well I did that, or tried at least. There are some people who need a hand up, who could really benefit with a fresh start. However, they have to want to participate and not screw it up.
     This happened to me recently. I reached out, gave someone a chance and they screwed it up. Sad that they threw away a decent chance, but hey... at the end of the day, you can only lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink. That's kind of how I feel about this.
     It doesn't mean that I won't keep doing things for others. Most really appreciate the helping hand, but there is always going to be that one. Oh well. I did what I thought was best. I wonder if I will still get Karma Coins for it?
     That's about all I got for this time. Have a grrreat week, y'all.

1 comment:

  1. I hate that you found the friend really was not from his side--you just keep being you 8|