Sunday, February 14, 2016

Happy VD!

     So… now that this week has passed and I’m still in one piece, I’m off to the races, or that’s the plan.

     Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all. Hope everyone gets lots of chocolate! Yeah, as far as I’m concerned, that’s the best thing about Valentine’s Day. I can’t even remember the last time I got flowers, a card or chocolate for VD. That sounds kinda nasty, don’t it?
     Now, don’t go feeling all sorry for me. I’m quite happy with where I am right now. The last thing I need is some man up under my feet. Goodness knows I don’t have the patience for that mess anymore. I’m thinking a cabana boy would be much more to my tastes. He’s there when you need him and then you can tell him to go away. Works for me. If I had my druthers, I’d prefer him to be very tall. At least that way I won’t have to go fetch a ladder or stepstool to get something out of the upper cabinets!
     I’ve always said that gay men have the best of male and female traits… and the worst. Sheesh, there is nothing worse than a clingy gay man who wants to talk about their feelings. Ugh… talk about trying my patience.
     And then there is the point of a man not picking up after themselves. What is it about a guy who can’t seem to get his underwear into the hamper? Is it really that difficult? Or how about not putting the toothpaste back, and of course it’s all squeezed out from the middle or leaving little hairs in the sink. It’s that kind of shit that just puts my OCD into overdrive.

     Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of good things about having a gay man around. You don’t have to worry about them walking around wearing plaid shorts with a striped shirt. Or them owning a pair of those dreadful old man type boxers. Oh, and you’ll never have to worry about the personal grooming stuff. Hell, I’ve known some gay men that have more lotions and potions in the bathroom than most women. Of course you might have to convert a spare room into a walk-in closet just to house their shoes! Or if I were to ask an opinion on aubergine, I wouldn't have to explain what it is.
    I know I’ve said it before, but I’m going to say it again…
     My idea of a perfect man is one that lives at least twenty minutes away, has a job, his own house or apartment, has a life and can take care of himself. He can come over, have dinner, bump nasty’s, maybe stay the night and then takes his hairy ass home. Yep, that would work for me.
     I think my idea of a cabana boy is the best though. I just need to figure out how to get a pool first. Might be hard to look for a hot man to service the pool when there is no pool don’t ‘cha think? I’ll have to work on that.
     This past week… Yeah, well… while having a bit of a meltdown, I may have neglected to say that I had a house full of out-of-town guests during that time. Yeah, I might have skipped over that part. Ooops, sorry.
     It was great having friends around. Catching up, laughing, just hanging out and eating. For the most part it was really laid back… nothing too strenuous or exciting. Hell, there isn’t that much ‘round here to get excited about. It would have been better had it been a bit warmer. It was warmer than most of the country at least. Oh well, can’t control the weather.
     On the writing front…
     Yeah, well… not much happening there this past week. Just had other things to do. I really do need to buckle down and finish this damn book. I’m so close to the end, but I’ve just not had the time to sit down and focus on it. I’m hoping this will be the week to get it done!
     The big problem is that I’ve got other projects that I’d like to get back to and then I’ve got other storylines that keep popping into my head. I really need to get more disciplined about sitting down to write.
     On the house renovation…
     It is so close to being done, I can almost taste it. This is the time when I start to get fidgety about it. It’s the little things that I keep focusing on, and then lose my mind. There’s that OCD thing again. I’m really hoping that we can get the inside close to done so I can go back and start playing in the dirt.

     It’s almost spring here and I’m getting itchy to get back outside. I think it’s something in my genetics. This time of year I start thinking about putting out some tomatoes. My grandmother did the same thing, as does my sister. Can’t fight it. I didn’t do it last year and kept thinking I’d forgotten something. My brain keeps flashing Steel Magnolia’s at me. Yeah, I’m strange that way. Give me a big floppy hat and a few ‘maters to stick out, and I’ll be happy sitting in the dirt.
     What else…
     I’m kind of proud of myself. I’ve been able to do a few nice things for a few folks and I didn’t even spend a dime. It really doesn’t take much, just react to a need. I don’t think it was anything monumental, just simple things really. How about you? I think that’s about all I have for this week.
     It’s time to get nekkid and wash some dogs!
     Have a grrreat week, y’all,

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