Sunday, December 6, 2015

An Easy Bake Oven and a Shovel

     So… here I sit… again… wondering what the hell do I have to say to fill all this white space. Who knows? Sometimes I have things to say, but most of the time I just ramble on about whatever comes into my head. Damn, that’s a scary thought. I need to make sure I have the filters in place. LOL
     When I was very young, like five or so, my grandmother sat me down with the Sears catalog and asked me what I wanted Santa Claus to bring me. I told her I wanted a play kitchen and an easy bake oven for Christmas. I also asked for a tea set and dishes. Yeah, it was pretty clear even then that I wanted to cook and that more than likely I was gay. I’m pretty sure I knew then that I was gay, but didn’t know what that meant.
    My father hit the roof, of course, when my mother considered it. Good thing they were getting a divorce at that time. I got the tea set and the easy bake oven that year. Found out that that stupid oven wasn’t worth a tinker's damn, but I did enjoy the tea set, along with the GI Joe’s I got.

     I loved my GI Joe’s by the way. Who wouldn’t love big butch military men? I remember one of them having facial hair. I always did wonder where all their boy parts were however. I wonder if boys still think about those things? I guess it’s pretty easy for girls with their dolls. There aren’t any dangly parts to compare themselves with. Boys… yeah, they’re gonna want to know I think. Hell, a boy’s dick is his first toy. I guess that is why even as grown men, they’re constantly playing with it.

     My next birthday, I asked for a lawnmower. My poor mother. She flat out said no to that. I did get a wheelbarrow though, and a little shovel, rake and hoe. I would play with those things for hours. I planted a flower bed full of zinnias for my grandmother. My mother was so surprised when they came up and bloomed all summer long. My grandmother was thrilled. She loved ‘em. Not too bad for such a little kid, huh?
     Isn’t it funny how things we love as small children help form our personalities and choices we make? I started cooking at a very young age and continued to do so professionally. To this day I love playing in the dirt, being outside, and messing with landscaping. I still like butch masculine men with beards, Marines in particular. Woof! So here I am, fifty years later, reminiscing and finding out that I still like a lot of the same things.
     What else…

     There’s a Christmas tree in my living room. It is the first tree I’ve put up in many years. With it just being myself, why bother, I thought. This year I have an Aussie Tart with me, and she’d never had a real tree, so we went and got one. Poor thing...

     She had to put up with my gay side. Yeah, it’s pretty foo-foo, of course. I can’t help it. It’s in the genes. I did pass gay 101 with flying colors, for those of you who might be curious. I actually got all the way to 501 without a hitch! Yep, I’m a full-fledged Queen. You may bow to my gay greatness. LMAO!
    I think that is part of the joy of being a gay man. I can handle power tools, do most DIY projects, whip up a FABulous soufflé and suck the chrome off a bumper. You know that old song… I am Woman? Hell, they should rewrite that for a gay man. Yeah, I can go out and make the bacon and fry it up in a pan and lay my man… if I had one. BUT then I can also change the oil in the car, swing a twenty-two pound framing hammer and do plaster work. Ha! I am Gay Bear, here me roar! Okay, that was just cheesy as hell. I think I may need more coffee.
     Speaking of coffee…

     I got rather brave last week. I messaged a guy that I think is one of the best looking men on two legs. Turns out he is a super nice guys who also seems to have a passion for coffee. He has also agreed to be on a book cover. Of course… I will have to write the book first. So… onto the pile of books started/outlined to write. I swore I wasn’t going to do that, but yet I did. That puts me up to six book ideas. I guess that pretty much takes care of 2016.
     Anyway… Anthony Varrecchia, the model inspired me. I’ve always wanted to read a book about a mature man. I don’t remember seeing one around, so I might as well write it, huh? Still figuring out the plot, but it will come to me. It usually does once I get the characters flushed out more. They will have their own story to tell no doubt.
     Update: The current WIP was about halfway done, or so I thought, until they threw me a curveball. Who the hell knows how long this book will be. I guess we’ll see. Oh, and get this… over forty-thousand words and not a sex scene yet?
     How’d that happen? I’ll tell you how that happened. I don’t think a sex scene should be there unless it moves the story along. It must have something to do with the characters and the story. These two aren’t even thinking about sex at the moment. They have too many other things on their plates to deal with sex. Yeah, get the tissue boxes out. Might get two.
     Tis the Season…
     Time to consider others, y’all. I’m providing the link to Lost n Found in Atlanta. It is one of the best organizations out there. Please take a moment to read about them and what they do. You can also see how to give. They have a wish list that is updated constantly. Please give if you can. Many of these kids show up with nothing but the clothes on their backs. It is a good way to bank some Karma coins.

     That’s all for this time.
     Have a grrreat week, y’all.

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