Sunday, December 14, 2014

Crazy Mad Ramblings From a Nutters Gay Man

 Soooo….. Here we are again. Another Sunday, another blog post. I have no clue as to what I’m going to write about here, so I’m just going to wing it. Look out! You just never know what the fuck is going to fly out of my mouth. 

     The thing that has been most on my mind of late is my big man is in the hospital, recouping from brain surgery. Now, that’s some scary shit. I've been an emotional mess. Sleeping when I can, can’t work, can’t focus on anything but him. Worried? You bet your sweet ass I've been worried. Worried sick. 

I was told he had cute nurses.

     As I sit here, I try and find something positive about this whole thing, and, yes, I have found it. This past week I have had the opportunity to get to know his brothers, which is something that I've wanted for quite some time. They are both braniacs, which is a bit intimidating, if you know what I mean. 

      One brother, who is openly gay, is charming, charismatic, smart, funny, loving, caring, and so fucking gay sometimes it is hysterical. You can’t help but love the little minx. He’s also the dad of twins. Y’all ever have your mother say, “One day you’ll have children of your own and you’ll get yours.” Yeah, this young man is going to have his hands full. Karma is such a bitch sometimes. Oh, he is a twin by the way. I’m sure Natalie, his mum, is going to be laughing her ass off. 

     The other brother… oh hell, I don’t even know where to start with this one. Super smart, a sense of humor that could stop a Sherman tank, and as loving and caring as anyone could ask for. I know now why his mother loved him so. He’s also a sensitive soul, although he tries to hide it. Yeah, didn't work. I saw right through that shit. I've nicked named him Lump. It so fits him, too. He and I are going to have a lot of fun together. I can just feel it. 

     Some of the conversations that I've had with these two while my hunka-hunka burning love has been in the hospital is what has kept me going this week. We have laughed our asses off. Cried a bit, laughed more, and have gotten to know each other. I will gladly, gratefully, welcome these fantastic young men into my family. 

     Now, with that being said, I have to say that this family has been through living hell this past year. I’m not going to go into detail, but trust me when I say, the worst angst book you can imagine is in this family’s history. There are not many who could have made it with this shit dumped on them is such heaps. It really is something that makes you shake your head. The silver lining here is that these boys have pulled together and been there for each other like no other family I've ever seen. It truly has been remarkable to witness the love they share. This is the family that everyone dreams of. 

     Of course, they have their little squabbles, which I really find endearing if you want to know the truth. It’s these little things that make life interesting, if you ask me. “I’m not making lunch until you fucking tidy up the kitchen, Lump.” Did the Lump do it? Nope. The rest went out and had a great lunch out. He still had to clean up the kitchen. Yeah, I laughed my butt off. So cute. 

     So gentlemen, it has been my pleasure and joy to get to know you better. Yeah, I love ‘em. 

     What else… oh… uh… yeah… blank again. Maybe more coffee would help. 

     Ahhh, I know what else. I was asked to do a blog post for my friend Vicktor Alexander’s Birthday Extravaganza. I did. I’ll leave a link here if you want to read it. Let me just say, I roasted his ass a bit. It was all in fun of course. Love Vic to death. He is quite the character. Works like a dog sometimes, and I've had to make him stop from time to time to breathe.

     He and my friend have been staying with me, upon my man’s request, to keep me company (look after me) while he was in the hospital. I am grateful for this, however, I am grown. I think I could have handled it, but it was nice to have them around. 

     Anyway, I've given the poor man such a hard time. I’ve lost count at how many times I've made him choke on either coffee, soda, or food. I thought I was going to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him last night. It isn't like I do it on purpose, but it is kinda fun to watch. Nothing funnier than see someone blast coke through their nose. You know that shit burns, right? 

     So after I did his birthday post, you wouldn't believe the response. It was like we had invitations to do parties, people wanting to party with us. (We are such the party animals. NOT) Hell, we even had a request to do an appearance in Australia! I kid you not. I’m up for it. Vic said he’d do it. All right you Aussies…if you want us, let us know and we’ll see what we can do. I think there is a book thing in October there. Since neither one of us will ever do GRL again, we’re free. 

Awesome Aussie Hunks Appreciated

     Hey y’all, I need to ask you guys to step up to the plate a bit, if you can. Lost n Found’s Christmas list is up and needs your help. There are far too many items on their list that haven’t been filled. A lot of items listed there are under twenty-five dollars. Hell, there are some that aren't even ten dollars. These are gay kids that have been tossed out for being gay, or had no choice but to live on the streets. They are the next generation of torch bearers. Let’s give them a hand up. We, together, can help give them a little peace and perhaps a little joy for what is left of their childhood. They are just kids, after all. So please, if you can, do what you can. Tis the season, ya know. 

     Okay, that’s enough of my mad ramblings for this week. Don’t know if you can take much more anyway. Y’all have a great week and I’ll see you next time. One last thing… a quote from a very wise woman. “Live. Love. Laugh.” 

Would YOU lick his candy cane?
Oh yeah, I would!


  1. Great post Max. I'm glad you like your Man's brothers, please give them all my very best wishes. Healing vibes and prayers sent to everyone.

  2. As always a great post. Loved your post on VIcktors birthday blog. If I every visit Florida I'll look you two up to party. I'm sorry to hear your man had to have brain surgery, but from his brothers post sounds like he is on the mend. It's great you have such good friends to stay with you during this time. You may be a grown ass man, but I can tell you, from personal experience, being alone at a time like this would only make you worry more. Take care of yourself. Prayers, love and hugs to you , your man, your friends and your new family <3 <3

  3. Awesome post Txs for sharing it was great meeting U at grl prayers and healing vibes being sent for your man daily and you take care of your self also

  4. great post as Always Max

    take good care of yourself much love to you and yours
    <3 Dani

  5. As always, a great post. And yes, a wonderful family you're marrying in to 😊 Happy birthday to Vicktor! Now take good care, you. Sending love.

  6. Hi
    A bit late to the party. Still time for a couple? You've given us info on what goes right, but what can go wrong (apart from the obvious STDs) What about anal tearing, fissures or hemorroids? Do they happen often in RL? Or do guys just not want to talk about it so stats are probably not representative?
    And I have read books where guys were sore/tender after a good "pounding" for a week.

  7. Hi Max,
    I'm Melinda, a Patricia Logan's friend and I discover your blog only today.
    I'm very sorry and also worried for your big man and I hope he can recover very soon.
    And about your blog... wow, I love it very much and it will be a pleasure for me continue to reading your news.
    Many hugs