Sunday, September 25, 2016

Don't Call Me Grace!

     So… with full disclosure, I’m a wee bit high on drugs, so the chances of this making sense, is probably slim to none.
     Friday, late afternoon I went to pick up a few things and stepped off a curb wrong. I blame the trifocals and bad balance for this. Yes, I was sober! Anywho, I fell, twisted my ankle and then landed on my foot. I got moves I tell ya. I don’t think it was my most graceful moment but then my name has never been Grace either. I’ve always been a bit of a klutz.

     Basically I managed to break a bone in my foot AND sprain it all at the same time. Now that’s talent I tell ya, talent. Even the doctor said so. It’s nice that others can recognize it too.
     At any rate, I’m on the mend, doing drugs and basically doing what I normally do… it just is taking me longer. A LOT longer. Yeah, crutches aren’t fun. Poor dogs don’t know what to think of them. Poor Willie hates them. Charles just kind of looks at me like ‘Yeah, you’re nuts.’
     The first challenge was how to fill the pup’s water bowl. It’s a BIG bowl, so carrying it with crutches wasn’t happening. But… I got it all figured out. Pulled an extra office chair out of the office and used it to scoot around without having to use the crutches. Ha! All sorted. Okay, I admit, I did spill a little bit, but for the most part I got along pretty well. All in all, I’m making it.
     What else…

     YAY! My Tennessee Volunteers finally beat Florida! I know that won’t mean much to many of you, but WHOOT! WHOOT! After eleven years! I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, I slept through the first quarter, due to the great drugs, but that is probably a good thing. They were not doing so well at that point, but after half-time, they kicked ass. I think I may actually go and read My Hero. Funny, I’ve never sat down and read any of my own books. But that one scene in there makes me want to relive the moment. Are there any authors out there who have gone back and read one of their own books? Hmmm, I wonder.
Just butt ugly if you ask me
     Alright, as a gay man, I gotta say those were the ugliest damn uniforms I’ve ever seen. They really do need a fashion designer. Dead grey. It reminded me a school of dead fish floating on top of a lake. At one point, I thought I actually smelt day old dead fish that had been lying in the sun. Yeah, they really aren’t pretty. However, they did get the job done! Go Vols!
     To know me…
     I put myself on a strict diet when I came back from OZ. I really needed to get rid of the poundage I plastered onto my ass. There was no way I was going to go and buy pants another size up. I think I was as big as I’ve ever been in my life. I was doing really well too. I’m not sure how much I’d lost, but I was doing really well. ‘Was’ being the key word there.
     Anyone who really knows me knows that there are a few things that will really make me the ultimate grumpy bear.
          1. Lack of sleep. Yeah, I don’t do well at all with no sleep.
          2. Lack of coffee in the morning. I need at least two mugs to feel human.
          3. Pain. I’m almost always in pain from my feet, which I’ve learned to deal with, but a constant hard pain; I’m not a fan.
     Saturday morning, I was a total grump. Out right bitch was more like it. I’d not slept at all because of the pain in my foot. I wasn’t able to really make coffee because I couldn’t walk or stand and I was hurting like a bitch. I was so foul I didn’t even like being with myself.
     Where was I going with this again? Hell, I need more coffee… back in a bit…
     Right, got coffee. I think I was going to say that I fell off my diet in a big way. After I got back from the doctors, and finally had something for the pain, I ordered Chinese food. Yeah, not good for the diet. I totally pigged out. I took one of the pain pills I’d gotten, ate and then fell into the bed for several house. Why I missed the first quarter of the game. BUT it was sooo good! Damn, but I do love steamed dumplings. Let’s face it: I love food! Surprised?
     Splish- Splash…
     I just thought of something… If I can’t put any weight on this foot for three weeks, that means I’m going to have to take baths. I hate baths. I’ve never liked them. For some reason I feel as if I’m sitting in dirty water. I don’t understand why anyone would want to sit and soak in one either. I get so bored. I don’t find them comfortable at all. My sister only takes baths. I don’t get it, but whatever floats your boat I guess. But… I guess I’m going to have to deal with it because I really can’t put any weight on this foot at all. If I had a cute houseboy to help me, that might change my opinion, but even then I’m not so sure.
I might not be so bored if he were in there.  LOL

     On the book front…
     I’ll have some exciting news for y’all coming in the very near future. Yay! I can’t believe it, but I’m so excited. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Can you tell I’m excited?
     It isn’t uncommon for me to be working on several manuscripts at the same time. If I get stuck on one, I go to another one until it sorts itself out. Currently, I’ve got four going all at the same time. One is time sensitive, so it really shits me when it stalls. Grrr… but I know it will come when it comes. There are some things you just can’t push. But I really wish these guys would get busy and let me get on with it.
     What now?...
     Well it’s time to wrap this up. I’d like to remind everyone about the Smile program at Amazon before you start your holiday shopping. Pick a charity that best suits you. It doesn’t cost you a thing and it will give something to a good cause. Since I’ve moved to Florida, I’ve chosen The Zebra Coalition. They are a very small organization that helps LGBT youth. They also have a wish list on Amazon. So go and get some of those good Karma Coins!
     Have a grrreat week, y’all,

1 comment:

  1. Max .. there are shower chairs!! My daughter did a Max + broken leg! She won't take a bath either. We found a shower chair that fits into the tub that slides back & forth. Same height as toilet, your rolling chair. Pull top away from tub .. wiggle on to it .. slid yourself back over tub .. let's you elevate foot outside shower .. can keep it dry. When done .. slide out. Will try to find it & PM you. Also .. weight is NOT a factor .. either for person sitting on it or the actual chair. Bestest to you. �� Love you from Alaska ��