Don't Call Me Grace!

     So… with full disclosure, I’m a wee bit high on drugs, so the chances of this making sense, is probably slim to none.
     Friday, late afternoon I went to pick up a few things and stepped off a curb wrong. I blame the trifocals and bad balance for this. Yes, I was sober! Anywho, I fell, twisted my ankle and then landed on my foot. I got moves I tell ya. I don’t think it was my most graceful moment but then my name has never been Grace either. I’ve always been a bit of a klutz.

     Basically I managed to break a bone in my foot AND sprain it all at the same time. Now that’s talent I tell ya, talent. Even the doctor said so. It’s nice that others can recognize it too.
     At any rate, I’m on the mend, doing drugs and basically doing what I normally do… it just is taking me longer. A LOT longer. Yeah, crutches aren’t fun. Poor dogs don’t know what to think of them. Poor Willie hates them. Charles just kind of looks at me like ‘Yeah, you’re nuts.’
     The first challenge was how to fill the pup’s water bowl. It’s a BIG bowl, so carrying it with crutches wasn’t happening. But… I got it all figured out. Pulled an extra office chair out of the office and used it to scoot around without having to use the crutches. Ha! All sorted. Okay, I admit, I did spill a little bit, but for the most part I got along pretty well. All in all, I’m making it.
     What else…

     YAY! My Tennessee Volunteers finally beat Florida! I know that won’t mean much to many of you, but WHOOT! WHOOT! After eleven years! I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, I slept through the first quarter, due to the great drugs, but that is probably a good thing. They were not doing so well at that point, but after half-time, they kicked ass. I think I may actually go and read My Hero. Funny, I’ve never sat down and read any of my own books. But that one scene in there makes me want to relive the moment. Are there any authors out there who have gone back and read one of their own books? Hmmm, I wonder.

Just butt ugly if you ask me

     Alright, as a gay man, I gotta say those were the ugliest damn uniforms I’ve ever seen. They really do need a fashion designer. Dead grey. It reminded me a school of dead fish floating on top of a lake. At one point, I thought I actually smelt day old dead fish that had been lying in the sun. Yeah, they really aren’t pretty. However, they did get the job done! Go Vols!
     To know me…
     I put myself on a strict diet when I came back from OZ. I really needed to get rid of the poundage I plastered onto my ass. There was no way I was going to go and buy pants another size up. I think I was as big as I’ve ever been in my life. I was doing really well too. I’m not sure how much I’d lost, but I was doing really well. ‘Was’ being the key word there.
     Anyone who really knows me knows that there are a few things that will really make me the ultimate grumpy bear.
          1. Lack of sleep. Yeah, I don’t do well at all with no sleep.
          2. Lack of coffee in the morning. I need at least two mugs to feel human.
          3. Pain. I’m almost always in pain from my feet, which I’ve learned to deal with, but a constant hard pain; I’m not a fan.
     Saturday morning, I was a total grump. Out right bitch was more like it. I’d not slept at all because of the pain in my foot. I wasn’t able to really make coffee because I couldn’t walk or stand and I was hurting like a bitch. I was so foul I didn’t even like being with myself.
     Where was I going with this again? Hell, I need more coffee… back in a bit…

     Right, got coffee. I think I was going to say that I fell off my diet in a big way. After I got back from the doctors, and finally had something for the pain, I ordered Chinese food. Yeah, not good for the diet. I totally pigged out. I took one of the pain pills I’d gotten, ate and then fell into the bed for several house. Why I missed the first quarter of the game. BUT it was sooo good! Damn, but I do love steamed dumplings. Let’s face it: I love food! Surprised?
     Splish- Splash…
     I just thought of something… If I can’t put any weight on this foot for three weeks, that means I’m going to have to take baths. I hate baths. I’ve never liked them. For some reason I feel as if I’m sitting in dirty water. I don’t understand why anyone would want to sit and soak in one either. I get so bored. I don’t find them comfortable at all. My sister only takes baths. I don’t get it, but whatever floats your boat I guess. But… I guess I’m going to have to deal with it because I really can’t put any weight on this foot at all. If I had a cute houseboy to help me, that might change my opinion, but even then I’m not so sure.

I might not be so bored if he were in there.  LOL

     On the book front…
     I’ll have some exciting news for y’all coming in the very near future. Yay! I can’t believe it, but I’m so excited. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Can you tell I’m excited?
     It isn’t uncommon for me to be working on several manuscripts at the same time. If I get stuck on one, I go to another one until it sorts itself out. Currently, I’ve got four going all at the same time. One is time sensitive, so it really shits me when it stalls. Grrr… but I know it will come when it comes. There are some things you just can’t push. But I really wish these guys would get busy and let me get on with it.
     What now?...
     Well it’s time to wrap this up. I’d like to remind everyone about the Smile program at Amazon before you start your holiday shopping. Pick a charity that best suits you. It doesn’t cost you a thing and it will give something to a good cause. Since I’ve moved to Florida, I’ve chosen The Zebra Coalition. They are a very small organization that helps LGBT youth. They also have a wish list on Amazon. So go and get some of those good Karma Coins!

https://smile.amazon.com/Smile Amazon

     Have a grrreat week, y’all,
     Max

RANT I Say, RANT!

     Okay, I’m going to warn you now… this is a rant. RANT I say, RANT!
     Once again, I saw a post about male vs. female writers in the M/M genre. This time it really made my blood boil. There was one particular comment that really got to me, but I’ll get to that a bit later.
     How many times do we have to go through this? It never seems to end, and what I’ve noticed is that there always seems to be the same authors always commenting on it. Really? Yes, really. Over and over and over again. It just makes my eyes cross and steam come out of my ears. I feel like Madeline Kahn from Clue, flames…

     I must be one for self-torture, because every time I mention the whole male vs. female writers, I get my ass handed to me. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that there are plenty of good female authors who write M/M. There are just as many bad male authors as there are females I’ve found, so I don’t quite understand why there are some who just have to keep this shit up, because that is what it is… shit.
     But then there are some authors who just keep at it, over and over again.
     Here is how I see these authors who are always harping on this.
          1.) You’re an attention whore and need to be in the spotlight. Poor, poor me.
          2.) You’re very insecure in your own work and need constant confirmation and reconfirmation that you’re doing a good job.
          3.) You’re a shit stirrer, plain and simple.
     IF you are passionate about your writing and you enjoy it, then keep at it. If you have readers who enjoy your work then that is confirmation that you’re doing a good job. This goes for any author, male, female, gay, straight, bi or purple polka-dotted! If you’re doing it for the money, then good luck to you and have fun while doing it. Go on with your bad self.
     I used to do a lot more social media than I do now. What changed? I got so tired of being attacked and demonized by other writers and their minions. It got to the point where I had to hire an attorney. Oh, that was right after I was almost arrested for sexual assault, which never happened. A rumor started by… guess who? Yep, a female author. So yes, I’ve backed way off out of self-preservation. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been raked over the coals by female authors.
     Let me say once again: I have never said that female authors can’t write gay characters. What I have said is that there are plenty of good writers out there, male and female and there are equally as many bad ones. Period. If you’re going to write gay characters, it would be nice if you actually did the research and got it right if you want ME to read it that is.
     Now then, onto what really pissed me off…
     “Until women writers burst onto the scene a few years ago gay romance was very few and far between to find.”
     WTF? Really? Want to tell that to some very well-known authors?
     How about E.M. Forster? He wrote Maurice. Oh, by the way, that was published in 1913! Was it classified as romance? No, but then it was aimed at a general audience.
     How about Felice Picano? Damn, what a fine writer.
     Gordon Merrick: The Lord Won’t Mind Oh, a best seller on the New York Times list for weeks on end!
     Armistead Maupin, who happens to be one of my all-time favorites.
     Anne Rice, under several non de plumes. Oh look a female author!
     Are we to forget Oscar Wilde? I certainly hope not!
     Okay, granted there wasn’t the plethora of titles available, but it doesn’t mean they weren’t there and available. It’s just that most people had to purposefully look for them, and most of them weren’t classified as romance. So yes, there were gay books that had men as main characters and often times there were relationships between them and yes, there was romance.
     NOTE: Most men, straight, gay, bi or in between, will not go looking in the romance aisle. It’s a guy thing I guess. But it doesn’t mean they aren’t reading!
     Hell, the last book I published I wouldn’t classify as a romance. There was no romance the hint of romance or even SEX, until the last ninety-percent of the book! It was about how two gay men dealt with loss and PTSD. How they supported each other on a daily basis.
     I think I’m luckier than most because I do have a good gay male following, which is not the case for most authors I’ve found out recently. It isn’t like I haven’t worked for them either. I’ve busted my ass to get other gay men to read my work. Trust me, it isn’t an easy task.
     So, when I see a female author whining about the whole female vs. male authors, I normally roll my eyes and move on and don’t get involved. However, this time I took exception with the comment that there weren’t gay male books available and it was female authors who made the whole genre what it is today. WRONG!
     Okay, this is really going to get me into trouble…
     Girl, put on your big girl panties and get over it. Write what YOU want to write. If you have sales; fantastic. If you have a best seller; even better. If it bombs, then you need to listen to the READERS and figure out why.
     If you write a chick with dick book, you can count on me not reading it. If you write a MPREG book, I’m not going to pick it up. Oh, and by the way, I don’t JUST read M/M either. I don’t care if the characters are NOT gay. It is nice to find a good M/M book, but I’m not going to just read any ol’ thing either.
     YOU do not have permission to tell my how to feel. That street goes both ways. If you feel persecuted, then that is on you. That doesn’t mean I have to listen to it either. I don’t really care what is between your legs. You either have skills or you don’t. Full stop. (Damn, those Aussie’s rubbed off on me.)
     The one thing I’ve learned since I started this gig was you need to have a very thick skin. If you let the haters get to you, then you need to bail out now. If you get a bad review, you need to look at it for what it is and take away from it what you need to make yourself better. Water. Duck. Back. Move on.
     I have never said it before, but I am going to now…
     IF I see a post from anywhere, where an author is belly aching over the whole female vs. male author thing, I’m going to unfriend, unfollow or whatever the case maybe. I’ve been doing it quietly but now I’m putting it out there. If you bash another author, the same thing. I’m not going to listen to such crap.
     Let me wrap this up…
     To all authors out there; write what you want. Read what you want. Do what you want. Just do not expect to receive respect when you cry about how unfair things are. No one ever said life was easy or fair. And you want to be treated equal, no matter your gender, then stop with all the boohooing and get on with making your craft the best it can be. Do not let anyone tell you that you can’t because of your gender. That especially goes for yourself!
     You wanna run with the big dogs? Then you damn well better grow up and start running. You’ll never be able to stay with the pack if you’re sitting in a puddle of your own tears.
     Just another side note: I have recently told several female authors how much I enjoyed their work!

     Taking escalator down from soapbox.

Home Sweet Home

     So… where to begin? So much has gone on in the last few weeks, it seems to be all a blur, or I’m still recovering from the flight from Australia. I have a feeling that this may be a bit of a mish-mash of ramblings…

I really need a houseboy!

     I arrived back from AU to no internet. Yeah, well I wasn’t happy. I’ve had so much trouble with Century Link that I basically told them to shove it and went with another provider. Took a few days, but I’m back online and connected to the world. To be honest, I didn’t miss it all that much. What I did miss was not having my music. Yeah, that’s pretty sad.
     Then, I went to pick up my dogs from my friend James. Yeah, that was a challenge. I picked the day to go up just as hurricane Hermine zeroed in on the Gulf Coast of Florida. Yep, I drove right through it on the way home. I swear it was like someone was pouring piss out of a boot the rain was so heavy. Took me twice as long to get home as I was anticipating, but I got there. Oh, did I mention that my alternator went out on my car just as I got back on the road coming home? Had that not happened, I might have missed the worst of it.
     At home, all safe and sound, and then the remnants of the storm stirred up more storms, including a tornado. We lost a cell phone tower that night. So, I had no internet, no TV and no phone. Talk about total isolation. No worries, I have books!
     Now speaking of books…

     While I was sick in Australian, I read. I read a lot. I read a whole lot! Over the past month I estimate I read over thirty books. I read three books on the flight home alone. I’ve been home just a little over two weeks and I’ve read… oh… ten books. I’m a fast reader, what can I say? What’s wrong with that? I tend to pick up a book, good or bad, and I have to finish it. I have to read all of it. Rarely have I ever NOT finish a book. It is really bad when I have a good book and I can’t put it down. What happens? I end up staying up all night reading and then I’m hung over the next day from lack of sleep. Yeah, that’s not pretty, trust me.
     These last few days I’ve really been able to get a lot of writing done. That’s a real good thing since I am way behind for where I wanted to be. Oh well, it is what it is. At least I’m back at it, getting into my usual routine.
     What else…
      Oh, while I was cut off from the rest of the world, I cleaned house. I mean I really cleaned. One of those deep spring like cleanings. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to dust? If not… I really hate to dust. I would rather clean ten bathrooms rather than dust.

I really, really, really need a houseboy!

     The poor dogs didn’t know what was going on. The vacuum going, then the floor cleaner, had them running for their poor little lives. Furniture being moved around just about pushed them over the edge. Yeah, it was a serious cleaning. For the most part they hide under the dining room table, until I got to that point. Then they went to the bedroom. They stayed there until I got to the bedroom. Poor things. I was like I was chasing them through the house, cleaning.


     I’d really like to get one of those automatic floor vacuum thingys. You know what I’m talking about, the ones that unplug themselves and run on their own. Yeah, in Florida there is always sand and then the grass and stuff the dogs drag in, and of course, the dog hair, which is always an issue. If you have animals, it is just part of life. It would be really nice I think to not have to drag out the floor sucker a couple of times each week. It doesn’t help to have white tile floors either. Ugh… I hate white floors. Why anyone would put down a white floor is beyond me!

     Before you do…
     Hey, I know that the holiday season is coming up real soon. Have you signed up for Amazon’s Smile program? It is the program where you can get Amazon to donate to your favorite charity every time you order something. It really is a nice and easy way to give something back without digging into your own pocket. It is really easy to do. I still have Lost-n-Found of Atlanta as my primary charity. On top of my getting a little something on their wish list each month, each time I purchase something from Amazon, they get a little something else from me.
     So, before you start the bulk of your Christmas shopping, please consider signing up for this sweet deal. There are quite a few deserving charities listed, so it isn’t like anyone can’t find at least one to pick. What an easy way to get those Karma Coins rolling in, don’tcha’ think? I’ll even put a link up so you can find it easier.
Smile Charities by Amazon
     I guess that’s about all I have for this week. Be kind to one another and have a grrreat week, y’all.
     Max