So… I’m going to pick up from where I left off last week… If you’ve not read Part I, you should go and do so now…
This all stems from Johnny, a character in ‘My Hero’ and several things that I’ve read, seen or heard over the past few weeks. Not sure where this is going to end up, but here we go! I do love research…
There is a large number of gay men who seek out ‘straight’ guys to have sex with. This is nothing new. I’ve known that this happens for decades now. Personally, it never really was my thing. Of course there are many gay guys out there who fantasize about Firemen, Policemen, UPS guys and such. Then there are those who purposefully go out with the intentions making this happen. (OH, and don’t forget… there are plenty of ‘straight’ men who are out there looking for gay men to screw around with!)
An old friend of mine, Morris, did this for years. You’d never know that Morris was gay by looking at him. He was an old-guard, leather-biker-dude who looked about as rough as a three-day tequila binge. He did clean up nicely, but that happened about once every five years or so. If I saw him clean shaven and manicured, I’d ask him who died.
Anyway, he would go out to the titty-bars, get lap dances from the girls, who all knew him and what he was up too, just to turn the hot guy next to him on. He would then lure the guy out to his truck and have sex with him. The guy was probably well on his way to being drunk, totally turned on and more than likely would fuck a knothole by the time Morris got a hold of him.
I’m sure the poor slob didn’t think about having sex with a guy when he ventured out to watch women stripping down to just about nothing, their nipples to the wind. No, Morris knew exactly what he was doing. Oh, and Morris never drank. He was a sober as a judge, if there are any of those these days.
I ran across another article while doing this bit of research, written by a gay guy in conjunction with a ‘straight’ guy who has sexual encounters with other men, preferably gay men. In this little jewel, they list five reasons why a straight guy should have sex with a gay guy. I found this hilarious and oh so true…
1. You’ll never have a better blow job than from a guy. Gay men make better lovers, from a sexual point of view of course.
2. You’ll never have as much fun during sex than with another guy.
3. You don’t have to follow up with a phone call, flowers or awkwardness when all you really wanted was to get laid.
4. You never have to be turned down by a woman when you just want your ass played with. There is nothing as good as a good rim job.
5. It will make a gay guy very happy.
In my experience when a straight guy is involved in a situation like this is: a straight guy just wants to watch a ball game, have a few drinks, a few laughs, some good raunchy sex and go then home. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe they feel like they’re bonding with another guy? I’m sure that is part of it.
One guy in particular expressed how much he liked getting fucked, but would never admit this to his wife. He really loved his butt played with, a fantastic rim job and a good hard ass pounding. The man was a born bottom. One time, after a few beers, he said how much he enjoyed coming over but how much he loved his wife and kids and the life he had with them. I was a bit curious, but never pushed it. I figured that was his deal and now wish I’d questioned him.
Oh my… I can feel the steam radiating off of some of you…
CHEATER… yeah, well as my good friend Alan (Crystal) Clear said all those years ago… “Honey, if you can’t keep your husband at home, don’t expect me to send him there.”
That may sound a little harsh, but in reality, if it wasn’t with me, it would have been with some other guy. That’s just the bottom line here (pun intended). I’ll say it again; when I started this little fling I had no idea he was married. When I did find out, I figured whatever harm was done, was well… done. We had both agreed when we’d started having sex that it was just for sex and a good time. That’s all either of us wanted from the very beginning. Last I heard, he’d taken up with another guy (gay), who I knew. I’d since moved away. As far as I know, they are still seeing each other.
Let’s talk about labels…
Yeah, I don’t give them much credence anymore. Why? Because they are either incorrect, they change or they do nothing but put a stigma on people. Gay, straight, bi, tri, quad or whatever. Quite frankly, I really don’t care. I try and look at the person as a whole, not whatever they do with their genitals or who they play with. And yes, I purposefully used that word ‘play’, because in this instance, that is exactly what it is.
I have no doubt in my mind that some of these guys were actually straight but only wanted sexual release and a little fun with another guy. Some of these men don’t actually consider it cheating if it is with a guy. Maybe that’s a little fucked up, but that is how they see it.
There is a scene from one of my favorite films, “The Women” where the mother is trying to explain this to her daughter. (Not the remake, which was complete trash, but the old one from 1939.) What she said was such good advice I can’t help but think of it here.
It went something like this…
"When women get bored or feel that they need a change in their life, they go buy a new frock or change their hair or get a new hat. Men can’t do that. Stupid creatures that they are, look to see themselves in a new light in the eyes of another woman." In this case, in the eyes of another lover, which here, means another man.
Personally, I think this was a very wise woman. Her further advice to her daughter was to do nothing. “Don’t even mention it. Let it run its course. He doesn’t actually love the creature.”
Of course, that isn’t what she does. What kind of plot-line would we have if she hadn't? She mentions it, divorces the poor guy, which pushes him into the arms of the other woman. In the end, they get back together and all is well. By the way, there are so many good one-liners in this movie, it is like my number one must see movie to pass Gay 101.
I once got an email from a female reader once who found out her husband was cheating on her with another man. (I’m still not sure why she contacted me in the first place.) She was pissed, hurt and every other emotion that goes along with finding out your man is out there having sex with someone else. She also had this thing about competing with a man.
When I started asking some rather pointed and somewhat personal questions, she got all pissed at me! Yeah, well you gotta keep them home fires burning, honey.
Some of the questions I was asking…
How important do you actually make your man feel? Do you listen to him or is all you ever talk about is the kids, the house the dog the… whatever? And then there are times guys just need a break from it all. Not an excuse, just the simple plain truth of the matter. I told her all this, not because I was trying to be hurtful, but I was trying to get her to see what might be going on.
She did later contact me and apologized and said that they were getting counseling and she thanked me. I’m not sure I did much of anything, but who knows, maybe they worked it all out.
So why do straight guys have sex with other men? Who knows? What I have learned in all of this is that there are too many variances to give a general answer here. It is my opinion that each case is different. It might be part of the Kinsey scale. It might be boredom. It might be that a guy just needs to get off. I saw this… “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” – Dr. Fraud.
And so there you have it…
So all of this came from a little research for why a college freshman would actually have sex with another guy in a fictional book. Oh and some of the things that I’ve seen and heard over the past few weeks too. Remember that word ‘fluid’ that I used last week? Yeah, I’m totally sticking with that. Some guys (and most women) are just fluid in how they view sex, their own sexual orientation and desires. It doesn’t make them gay or bi, it just makes them… well sexual beings. Who knew it could be that simple… well it isn’t I suppose, but for me, I guess it is. I’m totally gay, and have never done the deed with a woman. I can’t even relate to that, so I can’t say that I’m that fluid. LOL I’m still a Gold Star gay after all!
As I’ve said many times, sex is supposed to be fun! So… go forth and have some fun. Oh, and while you’re at it… you might try and do a good deed and rack up some Karma Coins.
Have a grrreat week, y’all.