Sunday, November 22, 2015
So… I was thinking, as dangerous as some of you may think, and I’ve decided something. As hard as I try, as much as I attempt to convince myself, I’m really not very happy.
You’d think that after I got My Hero: The Olympian finished, and it out I’d be ecstatic. Well, I am about that. I admit I felt really good when it finally went live. The response has been good, and the 5 Onion Ring review made me laugh. I mean really laugh.
So what’s the issue you ask? I’m sad because of all the hate I’ve seen lately. First off, the whole thing in Paris. It scared me. Made me worry about my friends who live there. Gave me nightmares. I cried.
What upset me even more is the reaction of some people. It was like being a witness to mass genocide and no way to do anything about it. It was so hateful it made me sick to my stomach. I had to stop looking at social media I was so disturbed by it all.
I think for the first time ever, I am ashamed of my government, or a good portion of it anyway. I’ve always been rather proud to be from the United States, but I think that is starting to become a misnomer. I don’t see us United any more, which is truly sad. It reeks of the segregation of our not so distant past. The way we treated the Asian population and other immigrants that came to this country. We treated them shamefully, and now I see many of us doing the same thing. Just sad.
But that isn’t what really got to me this week…
I had been so busy with getting this latest book out that I didn’t pay much attention to some of the things that were going on around me. Sorry, shoot me. That’s just the way I work. I needed to focus on that, and so I did.
There was some blog post made by an anonymous gay guy, ranting away about the M/M romance genre. I took part of it as him saying that women were ogling gay men and petting them, basically objectifying them. Okay… yes, I’ve seen that. Was I bothered witnessing such an act? Nope. I was right there with him, having a good time. But it did make me ask a few questions.
Would those same women being doing the same thing if those men were not gay? Would I? I can only answer for myself. No, I probably wouldn’t. That’s just a fact that I know about myself. Having gone to Swinging Richards in Atlanta, where most of the dancers are straight, I know it didn’t do anything for me. Actually made me a bit uncomfortable.
Now, I tried to see things from this writer’s perspective, and I can see where he might have an issue. Like most gay men, there are times when we want ‘our’ space. A place where it is only gay men. I’ve mentioned this before.
True story: A friend and I went to a bear bar. It turned out that it was a men only bar. She had a fit. She couldn’t believe that there was a place where she wasn’t allowed. This happened a couple of times and there was always a small tirade to follow. I tried to explain to her that there are places that men cannot go, and I understand that, why couldn’t she?'
This whole blog post by Mr. Anon and some of the responses really hurt. I remember being crucified over something similar a year ago. I only tried to explain how the majority of men are, but in a way that was supposed to satirical. It was hijacked by a few people who had it out for me, (I have proof of this which is in the hands of an attorney.) The first few comments led the rest of the readers down the rosy road of hate.
NOTE: There were two of these same people who shamed me for what I wrote, standing up and defending Mr. Anon for saying far worse than anything I said.
I read the comments from this disturbing blog and became so sad. So many other authors, authors I know, and some readers really went after this guy. But somehow, once again, it turned into ‘so women can’t write M/M’. I am going to say this yet again, for who knows how many times now… I have never said that a woman can’t write M/M romance. Nope, not once. I have said that there are some women who don’t do it very well, and that is me being honest. On the flip side, I also said that there are some men who can’t write it very well either, so there you have it. I hope I never have to say that again, but I’m sure I will.
The first thing I would like to say to this guy is this…
Sexual objectivity has been going on since the beginning of time. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. It isn’t going to change. If you don’t like it, then don’t be around it and don’t participate. Don’t get your panties all in a twist. Get over it.
But as a gay man, Mr. Anon made some valid points. A fellow author, Ashley John McLoughlin, wrote a post that blew me away. He is far more eloquent than I. Reading his post, he put down how I felt about the whole issue. I highly suggest you read it. It is so well done, I was speechless. There is also a link to Mr. Anon’s rant via his post. Try and read it with an open mind.
I’ve been pulling back more and more from social media lately. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until someone pointed it out. I guess it is that self-preservation thing kicking in. It’s so hurtful, hateful and negative. Things I’d rather not have in my life.
I know I’ve said it before, but after this past week, it bears repeating: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
For now, I’m going to go crawl into my chair and pull a big black blanket over me and lick my wounds.
Have a grrreat week, y’all. Be kind.