Damn, can I ramble on...

     Sooo… here I sit… wondering what the hell am I going to blog about today? Who knows…? Hold on, major ramble coming up.
     Umm, I’ve been busy? Yeah, well that’s been an understatement. Ever tried to hang thirty feet of wallpaper boarder by yourself? I don’t suggest anyone try it. It’s a total pain in the ass. I had yucky, slimy paste all over myself. That stuff is really nasty.

     I’ve been doing a blog tour for My Hero: The Olympian, and that’s always a challenge to keep up with. Believe it or not, I’m really not good with blogging, not like Ryan Fields, the King of blogging. I still don’t know how he does it. I struggle with it every time. Trying to say something that doesn’t sound like I’ve said it a hundred times is not easy.
     Of course I’ve been trying to write while all this is going on. I’d say I’m a little more than halfway done with this next one. It’s not going to be an easy read I’m afraid. Might look for sales on tissues. That’s all I’m saying. Well, other than I think the cover is going to be over the moon!
     What else…
     Oh, I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner. That was something that kept me busy on Friday, which is when we celebrated. I had my friend Lauren here from Down Under and two other friends. It was actually nice to really cook for a change. I’d not done it in quite some time. At first I thought my knife skills might be a bit rusty, but it came right back. If there’s ever an argument about muscle memory, this proves that it does exist. I could feel my body getting right back into it. I think I need to do more cooking. I do love it.

     I did have a marriage proposal last week. Seems the poor woman can’t cook. Yeah, well that’s not happening. Well unless she has a very good looking brother to throw into the deal. Anyway, I politely declined. If she comes up with a cute houseboy, I’m might think about it.
     Okay, here’s a question for you…
     Who in the right mind would ever put down white tile flooring with white grout? I swear to all that is holy, if I ever get my hands on that/those person(s) I’m going use their ass to mop this damn floor. Grrr… with three dogs, sand and it being Florida, where it rains most every day, it is impossible to keep it clean. Pushes all my OCD buttons, let me tell you. Actually, now that I think about it… I can just shove a mop handle up their ass and use their face to clean this floor. If it is a guy who picked this shit out, I’ll make sure he lets his beard grow out. That’ll at least make me feel better. Damn floor… grumble… grumble…
     But then if it is a guy, with a beard, and a nice furry butt… well… I might reconsider, but he damned well better be hot as hell, otherwise, his face is going on the floor! Just sayin’…
     As some of you may know, I’m pretty much a recluse. I rarely go out. When I do, other than for food, I really have to force myself. I’m going to try and change that. Well… I’m going to make an attempt to get out more. The major problem is that people just tend to piss me off, so why bother. I know I’m cantankerous. I know I’m set in my ways. Damn, I’m old, I’ve earned the right. But… I know it isn’t healthy, so I’m going to attempt it. We’ll see how that goes. Might need some people to pull bail money together.
     Here’s an example…
     I go to Target to get some new towels. I was also looking for something… can’t even remember what it was now. Told you I was old… I forget shit. Anyway, there is the women who walked in just before me. She was on her cell phone. She got a cart and went on her way and I went on mine. I find the towels, browse around for a few minutes looking at some of the other bathroom stuff. (I just remodeled the bathroom. I’m loving pink flamingoes these days by the way.) Then I go off in search of whatever it was I was needing. I’m all over that store looking. I pass this same woman several times. She is STILL on that damn phone. Not paying a bit of attention to where she’s going, or anything around her. I so wanted to jerk that phone out of her hand and just tell her to get on with it. Did I mention she was loud? Oh yeah, everyone within a ten foot radius heard her side of the conversation. Just gossip. I don’t know why, but that crap just irks me to no end. See, I told you I was an old curmudgeon. Oh well…
     And…
     The Snowbirds are back in Florida. I never really understood why the locals complained about them. I mean, they are a tax revenue. They buy stuff from local shops and boost the economy. Right?
     Ugh… Ever seen a little old lady driving her white Buick, as she looks through the steering wheel to see the road. Lord knows she can’t see the end of that big ass car, as she drives twenty miles an hour in a forty-five mile per hour speed zone. Poor old thing. Sadly, it is when she gets out of that tank, and then I get scared. She’s using a flipping walker! How the hell can she drive when she can barely lift her feet off the ground?
     Now don’t get me wrong. I normally give the elderly a lot of consideration, since I happen to be one of them now, but honestly… isn’t that like a major safety hazard?

     Oh, there are some fine looking redneck boys running around here, in case you wanted to know. I do enjoy going to the Home Improvement stores early in the morning. My there is some fine looking eye candy bandying around. I think I need to go find something that needs fixing… It’s nice and warm today, so I’m sure there will be some wearing shorts!
    Remember those in need. Do something nice for someone else. Bank some good Karma coins this week.
    Have a grrreat week, y’all.
     Max

Yes, please and thank you. 

Stepping Back

     So… I was thinking, as dangerous as some of you may think, and I’ve decided something. As hard as I try, as much as I attempt to convince myself, I’m really not very happy.
     You’d think that after I got My Hero: The Olympian finished, and it out I’d be ecstatic. Well, I am about that. I admit I felt really good when it finally went live. The response has been good, and the 5 Onion Ring review made me laugh. I mean really laugh.
     So what’s the issue you ask? I’m sad because of all the hate I’ve seen lately. First off, the whole thing in Paris. It scared me. Made me worry about my friends who live there. Gave me nightmares. I cried.
     What upset me even more is the reaction of some people. It was like being a witness to mass genocide and no way to do anything about it. It was so hateful it made me sick to my stomach. I had to stop looking at social media I was so disturbed by it all.
     I think for the first time ever, I am ashamed of my government, or a good portion of it anyway. I’ve always been rather proud to be from the United States, but I think that is starting to become a misnomer. I don’t see us United any more, which is truly sad. It reeks of the segregation of our not so distant past. The way we treated the Asian population and other immigrants that came to this country. We treated them shamefully, and now I see many of us doing the same thing. Just sad.
     But that isn’t what really got to me this week…
     I had been so busy with getting this latest book out that I didn’t pay much attention to some of the things that were going on around me. Sorry, shoot me. That’s just the way I work. I needed to focus on that, and so I did.
     There was some blog post made by an anonymous gay guy, ranting away about the M/M romance genre. I took part of it as him saying that women were ogling gay men and petting them, basically objectifying them. Okay… yes, I’ve seen that. Was I bothered witnessing such an act? Nope. I was right there with him, having a good time. But it did make me ask a few questions.
     Would those same women being doing the same thing if those men were not gay? Would I? I can only answer for myself. No, I probably wouldn’t. That’s just a fact that I know about myself. Having gone to Swinging Richards in Atlanta, where most of the dancers are straight, I know it didn’t do anything for me. Actually made me a bit uncomfortable.
     Now, I tried to see things from this writer’s perspective, and I can see where he might have an issue. Like most gay men, there are times when we want ‘our’ space. A place where it is only gay men. I’ve mentioned this before.
    True story: A friend and I went to a bear bar. It turned out that it was a men only bar. She had a fit. She couldn’t believe that there was a place where she wasn’t allowed. This happened a couple of times and there was always a small tirade to follow. I tried to explain to her that there are places that men cannot go, and I understand that, why couldn’t she?'
     This whole blog post by Mr. Anon and some of the responses really hurt. I remember being crucified over something similar a year ago. I only tried to explain how the majority of men are, but in a way that was supposed to satirical. It was hijacked by a few people who had it out for me, (I have proof of this which is in the hands of an attorney.) The first few comments led the rest of the readers down the rosy road of hate.
     NOTE: There were two of these same people who shamed me for what I wrote, standing up and defending Mr. Anon for saying far worse than anything I said.
     I read the comments from this disturbing blog and became so sad. So many other authors, authors I know, and some readers really went after this guy. But somehow, once again, it turned into ‘so women can’t write M/M’. I am going to say this yet again, for who knows how many times now… I have never said that a woman can’t write M/M romance. Nope, not once. I have said that there are some women who don’t do it very well, and that is me being honest. On the flip side, I also said that there are some men who can’t write it very well either, so there you have it. I hope I never have to say that again, but I’m sure I will.
     The first thing I would like to say to this guy is this…
     Sexual objectivity has been going on since the beginning of time. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. It isn’t going to change. If you don’t like it, then don’t be around it and don’t participate. Don’t get your panties all in a twist. Get over it.
     But as a gay man, Mr. Anon made some valid points. A fellow author, Ashley John McLoughlin, wrote a post that blew me away. He is far more eloquent than I. Reading his post, he put down how I felt about the whole issue. I highly suggest you read it. It is so well done, I was speechless. There is also a link to Mr. Anon’s rant via his post. Try and read it with an open mind.

Mr. Ashley John McLoughlin's response to Mr. Anon.

     I’ve been pulling back more and more from social media lately. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until someone pointed it out. I guess it is that self-preservation thing kicking in. It’s so hurtful, hateful and negative. Things I’d rather not have in my life.
     I know I’ve said it before, but after this past week, it bears repeating: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
     For now, I’m going to go crawl into my chair and pull a big black blanket over me and lick my wounds.
     Have a grrreat week, y’all. Be kind.
     Max

Happy Release Day To Me!

Happy release day to me… Happy release day to me… Happy release day to me… Happy release day to me… Happy release day to me… Happy release day to me… 

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Hope everyone enjoys!

I’d like to enjoy this day and not think of all the ugliness in this world, so I’m taking the day off and going to go play in the dirt. He he he

     Have a grrreat week, y'all,

     Max

Slut...Skank...CHEATER!

     So… here I sit. I’m… well… a little sad I guess.
     I read an article in Advocate that rang true, sadly. The article was titled Gay Men Should Be Ashamed of Slut-Shaming. The author, Kit Williamson, did a very good job, in my opinion. Over the past few years I’ve noticed that gay men, mostly younger than myself, have become very vindictive in their attitudes towards other gay men, especially when it comes to sex.
     Here is the link to the article if you want to read it. I highly suggest that you do. I think it applies across the spectrum of sexuality.

link

Gay Men Should Be Ashamed of Slut-Shaming

Cheaters???

     Why so judgmental? I know that a lot of people in the M/M genre have an issue with cheating and god forbid, an open relationship, but… and here’s the big thing to me… so many readers adore porn stars. If they are in a relationship, is that not cheating each time they ‘work’? And who are we to judge anyone’s relationship. I’ve always said, “Keep out of my bedroom!”

Cheaters???

     So why the double standard? What works for some may not work for others. It is great that we here in the states can marry whomever we chose, but what if we don’t want to? Huh? What about that? What if a couple doesn’t want to get married and just want to enjoy being with each other… and others? Is it really anyone else’s business.

     "Today, it seems as though any individual’s expression of sexual desire outside of the confines of marriage is seen as a threat to our hard-earned place in society."

     I’m not straight. I’ve never going to be straight. I grew up with the idea that I would never be able to marry my partner. Never have I thought of myself fitting into any type of heterosexual type mold, so don’t try and stuff me into one now. It’s a little late in the game for that. Nope, I’m never going to marry, have kids, two cars and a house with a white picket fence. That’s not me. Was never going to be me.
     How about this…
     If you want to pay my bills, feed and clothe me, then and only then will I let you tell me what to do. Oh, and while you’re at it… next time you feel like someone else is doing something wrong… remind yourself of that, whether you agree with them or not.. YOU are not responsible for someone else’s actions, only your own.
     I’ve always tried to remind myself that until you have walked in someone else’s shoes, you don’t know what is going on in their life. Until you have, you might want to rethink that whole judging thing.
     Why don’t we clean up our own houses before we start throwing stones at others? Personally, I know I’m not perfect. Never will be. It isn’t for lack of trying, but it just is never going to happen. I dare any one single person to say they are either. It’s just not human nature.
     I caught a lot of flak for about cheating in My Hero. What many didn’t understand is that when you are questioning your own sexuality, having serious doubts about yourself, you need to figure it out. When a very basic part of your being is in question, when your life suddenly does a complete 180, you tend to freak out a bit. It was an iatrical part of the story. It had to happen.
     What I think bothers me the most is that so many people are just mean. I don’t like mean. My grandmother and mother both told me, over and over and over, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. I really do try and do that. I don’t always succeed, but I do my best, and I think I do pretty well.
     If you don’t like cheating, then don’t cheat and don’t associate with people who do, if it bothers you. Same thing applies if someone chews gum and it drives you nuts. If it bothers you that much, then stay away from them. There are plenty of people out there who don’t like me, and that’s fine. There are a lot of people I don’t care for. Guess what? I don’t associate with people I don’t like, unless I have to. It’s just that simple. Not everyone is going to like everyone and not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay too.
     You know what…
     There is too many wonderful things out there in this big bright world to be brought down by snarky, bitchy, hateful people. Look, and you will find something beautiful, something that will make you smile instead of frown. Besides, frowning creates ugly wrinkles that no cream will be able to remove.
     As we move into the holiday season, I hope… wish that we can take a pause and think about what we say and reflect a bit on what we can do to make ourselves better. When we do that, we open ourselves up to things that make us happy, it does for me at least.
     Things that make me happy…
     I’m pretty simple to be honest. I like digging in the dirt. I like strolling through gardens, looking at beautiful plants. I like waterfalls and water gardens. I love good food and cooking for those I care about. I love my goofy dogs, even when they need baths. But what I like the most is when I see people smile.
     I love to travel. Being able to see beautiful cities, sample their food and explore new surroundings is a joy. But you know what? It is the people that I meet along the way that make it special. Buildings are just brick and mortar, but it is the people who love and care for these places, their home, that really makes it special.

     Each place I am privileged to visit, I see need. There is always that one person that sticks out to me. I make it a point to reach out to that one person, to let them know they are seen and that they aren’t invisible. I can’t think of anything more horrible than that.
     It doesn’t take much. I simple hello. A shake of a hand. A smile. A cup of coffee. The change in your pocket. Such little things can make a life changing difference to people sometimes. That poor kid in Paris is the perfect example. Each time I passed him, I gave him the change in my pocket. Before I left, he hugged me saying that because of that, he was able to get a cheap phone and could now find a decent paying job. It wasn’t much, or so I thought, it was just change. Who knew I'd given the kid enough to purchase a phone. Those damn pesky single euro coins.
     I still say that the Europeans have it all wrong with their not having paper one pound/euro notes. I’m convinced that is why there are no strippers readily available!
     One of the biggest rewards, something I love, is when I can reach out a hand and help someone. The reward is the smile. That small understanding that there is someone out there who sees them and cares. It may only be for a few seconds, but there is that spark that lets you both know that a connection has been made. That’s got to be one of the things I love the most about life. That spark that ignites a smile.
     Have a great week, y’all.
     Max

Joey D and Johnny V and Luke Adams a throuple. Cheaters??? Look pretty happy to me.

Happy (Belated) Halloween!

     So… here we are again. It’s Halloween. Happy Spookday, everyone. (Yes, I am aware that it was yesterday.) I’m writing this a few days early since I will have houseguests for the weekend…
     I used to look forward to Halloween as a kid and then even more so as an adult. I think… no… I’m sure that gay men loved this holiday more than any other. Why? Because they could really let loose and delve into their deepest fantasies, or show their humor or… both. It really was quite the site to see.

     One year I went as a condom. Damn, that costume was hot. I bet I lost ten pounds in water-weight that night. Then there was the time that a bunch of us went as the Cocke County Cockette Cheerleaders. (Cocke County Tennessee…yes that is a real place.) That was a lot of fun. Six gay men, facial hair, hairy legs, big red wigs, teased to the heavens, bright red lipstick, carrying pom-poms, while running around doing half-assed cheers. Yeah, those were the days. We had fun.

     As I grew older, I calmed down a bit. My partner and I decided to do something for the kids, so we set up a full show for trick-or-treaters. We even made it on CNN one year. We’d have kids lined up around the block waiting to get a couple of pieces of candy. Of course, there were a few who pissed their pants. I think we even got one parent to wet herself one year. We did this for about five years. I felt sorry for the people who bought the house and got slammed with kids the following year.

     Then… well… I just got older and started to care less and less about it. The last couple of years I’ve not even been home to hand out candy. This is a good thing. If I don’t have candy in the house, I won’t eat it. I don’t think there are that many kids around here, so I think I may be safe. But I’m not taking any chances. I’m going out!

     I have a friend visiting, so it is a good excuse to go out for dinner, listen to a band, have a few drinks and not worry about the doorbell, the dogs going nuts, having candy in the house and… Damn… I sound like an old stick in the mud, don’t I?

     Okay, time to change this. I think I’m going to go and get some Halloween candy. I’ll stick around long enough to hand out some goodies for the kiddies. I might even see about a costume before we go out Saturday night. I know that there will be a lot of people out enjoying this wicked holiday. Woo-hoo. Party time!

     I guess I need to get busy here, so I’m going to cut this a bit short this week. Remember, do something kind for someone this week. It doesn’t matter how big or small, just doing it is what matters.
     
     Have a grrreat week, y’all.
     Max