Sunday, January 25, 2015

Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!


     Here I go, again. Flying by the seat of my pants, which is pretty much the norm for me, I guess. I have no idea with today’s topic is, so I’m just going to do my rambling thing.

     I did actually work this week. Took me awhile to get my head into it, but I finally got there. I dusted off a story that I wanted to do last year, re-read it and I can’t wait to get back to it. However, it was a rather heavy subject and I didn’t think it would be a good thing to jump into at this point in time. Not to mention I have someone bugging the bejesus out of me for another story that I’ve almost gotten done…that I’ve been working on over the past year. Anyhoo, I decided to do something else. Something more upbeat, with characters that I already had in my head.

     I guess I’m just going to announce it… A Valentine’s Day Memory.


     I don’t have a blurb for it just yet, but let’s say it is almost finished and my goal is to have it out by February 1st. 

     Puppies update – Unfortunately I lost one of the little girls yesterday. I had just started the weaning process and I don’t think her kidneys were developed properly. I was sorry to let her go, but sometimes Mother Nature has other plans. The other two seem to be thriving, although still not all that enthused with the new food. Mommy’s is better.

     I do have another big announcement coming, but am going to hold off until I have a more firm date. Oh hell, why not…

     For my Aussie friends, get ready… I’m making the trek to Down Under this spring, or your autumn, if I survive the flight. I don’t mind flying and used to enjoy it quite frankly. But…27 hours traveling? UGH… oh God, Buddha or Allah, whoever is on duty those days, give me patience.
I think this would make it more tolerable

     So far I have it worked out that I will be in Sydney and Melbourne for sure. Hope to be able to meet up with some longtime social media friends, and perhaps meet some new ones. I’m really looking forward to it, minus the getting there part. Do they have strip clubs in Aussie-land?

     What else… Oh the big excitement this week? I had my car worked on. The check engine light has been popping on and then going off for about a year. The mechanic I had in Atlanta couldn’t figure it out. Then I started having this noise like a small roar, so I decided I needed to have it checked out.


     First thing the guy said was, “Sounds like a hub”. Uhhh, okay. A hub as in hubcap? At least I was in the right vicinity. I also ended up having to get new brakes all the way around. Oh well, who needed that money for other things, like a trip to a strip club? 

     Found out that the sensor was bad to start with. Now why didn’t the mechanic in Atlanta figure that out? It would have saved me quite a bit of time and money if he had. Seems like this guy knows what he is doing and his prices are fair. Always good to have a good mechanic.


     What makes this all so interesting and exciting, (because it is, right?) was getting back home while they work on the damn thing. It was either that or sit there all day, and as it turned out, all night and part of the next day waiting for it to get done. You see, when you live out in the boonies, as I do, there aren’t a lot of people around. Not to mention I still don’t know that many people here, and those that I do know don’t live even close to where I am. Once I got that all worked out, it went fine. While I was sitting there waiting for my ride, I did see this rather handsome young man, who is one of their tow truck drivers. Nice looking. Dark hair, about 5’10”, had a well-trimmed beard. Nice arms, cute bubble butt, nice legs… he got my attention. And then…and then he opened his mouth.

     For some reason the Lonely Goat Herder song from Sound of Music flashed through my head. I looked at him again and he started looking more and more like a goat. Hell, he even grew horns. What a letdown. Then I got tickled. I had to take a walk just to get over the giggles. It was funny and sad all at the same time. I still don’t quite understand what it was about his voice, but it was odd, in a strange way, and I could see where it would become very annoying. (Crap, now I have that song stuck in my head...ugh.)

     I guess that’s about it for now. My exciting life, welcome to it. You know that old saying? “Do unto others…” You know it, right? I think I’m going to change it. “Do unto others better than what you’d expect others to do for you.” Think that works? I do. Go rack up some Karma Coins, you guys.

     Until next week…

     Max






Sunday, January 18, 2015

Out of the Pool.


     Howdy, y’all. 

     I guess most of you may have noticed by now that I took down my blog post from last week. Sorry, but it was just too whiney for me. I’m not generally a whiney person and I really don’t care for many who are, so I took it down. I'm done doing laps in the pity pool. 


     
     So….now what? Hell if I know.

     I did manage to pull myself together enough to finish edits and get A Christmas Memory 2 out. The initial plan was to have it out the day after Thanksgiving, but things got…messy and complicated, to say the least. Anyhoo, I got a not so gentle nudge from my bestie and it is out. Thanks to all who bought it. For those who are fans of Adam and J.J., I may have a little surprise for you in the not too distant future.


     I will admit I've been drinking again. MILK people, just milk. Sheesh. Yeah, went through four gallons in one week. I’m sure there is a twelve-stop program for people like me. Between the milk and the goodie baskets I got for Christmas…well all I can say is thank god for elastic pants!



     The big news of the week, I guess, is that I did find a charity that I would like to volunteer for. It looks like a great organization that helps homeless gay youth. I’ll tell you more about that later. Don’t want to jinx it just yet. I did ask for a few letters of reference and I got some really nice ones. Thanks to those who wrote them. Big kisses and hugs.

     A good friend invited me to NYC and I was very tempted. I really could use a change of scenery about now. Even with the temperatures up there I was tempted. BUT… there are three week old puppies to consider, so that pretty much takes care of that.

     Speaking of puppies... they will be four weeks old this coming Wednesday. They are growing like weeds and are going to be beautiful dogs.
New born. Still wet.
Week One.


Week Two

video
     With all that has gone on in the past few weeks… I've not been doing a whole lot. Did a marathon of Downton Abbey. Watched movies that…well…were of questionable worth. Had more chocolate than anyone should have at any given time.

     What else? Umm…

     Well I have been helping the bestie with some plotting and working on the Southern Dialect. There are times when I wonder if we really do speak the same language. Although, admittedly, there are some things that Southerners say that you’d never hear anywhere else in the world, I’m sure. I call them Southernisims. I’ll give you some examples…

     I think that the first time that K.C. heard me say “I’m as full as a tick on a fat hound dawg”, she nearly fell out of her chair laughing, after she was able to close her mouth that is. Now she says it as well. It's quite amusing to hear her try and imitate a Southern accent. Sorry hun, but that English accent still shines through.

     When I was visiting her last summer and after a long walk on the Isle of Wight, I think I said something about being as sore as a boil on an old whore’s butt. I think her husband just about spit tea through his nose. (He has more control than I gave him credit for. I’ll try harder next time.)

     Now was it my fault that those poor folks in Paris couldn't understand my English? “I speak English, but I do not understand you with accent.” Wait? I have an accent? Lara Brukz, do we have an accent? Naw, can’t have.

     Hell, there were some English who couldn't understand me while in the UK. That’s okay, I didn't understand them half the time either. As much as I love my friend, and fellow urinal watcher, Petronella, I only get about half what she says, especially have a few beers. Don’t much matter, we have a good time anyway.

     On a side note, anyone who wants to send me a stripper, feel free to do so. Wouldn't mind the distraction about  now. Just make sure he’s at least thirty years old! I have to say, I’m missing my stripper bar in Atlanta.  

     Okay, I guess that’s about all I got for this week. Remember, doing something nice for someone else is a lot of times better for you than them. Rack up them Karma Coins, y’all.

     Have a great week you guys,

     Max



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

There's No Fool Like An Old Fool


     I didn't do a blog last week. I had one almost ready to go and then… well then shit happened. 

      I’m thinking that most of you who regularly follow me around, know what happened. I was ‘Catfished’. Until this week, I’d never heard of such a thing. Now I know what it is first hand. I can tell you, it ain't pretty. 

     What is Catfish? Here is the definition according to Urban Dictionary. 

     Catfish 
     A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances. 
     Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a pervy guy from San Diego! 
     Or 
     I was really falling for that gorgeous gal on Facebook, but she turned out to be a catfish. 

     Yes, it happened to me. I really should have known better. I thought I did. Just goes to show that there is no fool like an old fool. Why would a hunky twenty-two year old want a broken down ol’ horse like me? Yep, I should have known better. 

     Looking back, I can see there were signs. I guess I just didn’t want to see them. The hoax was elaborate and never ending. Why? I can’t really say. Only thing I can come up with was that this wannabe author wanted to sell books. Well, she certainly got that. 

     My bestie helped this woman out with free editing services for two books. My wonderful cover artists got scammed into doing a cover for her, at my recommendation. That one really makes me cringe. I cost her time and money. I have since offered to pay for the cover, to no avail. 

     This person also used mine and others contacts to get reviews, do blog tours and get other promotions. The books sold well, so there was monetary gain. She also received numerous gifts of things and of money. Let’s just say her kids had a very merry Christmas. 

     What I think she really wanted was attention. Thing is, this sick individual could have gotten it another way—by standing on her own two legs and doing the work that a lot of other authors have done. I can only assume she didn’t want to do this, but wanted to take a more dishonest course of action. 

     For me, this is much worse than someone dying. It is the betrayal of someone who I thought I knew, someone I loved, and someone I trusted. To find out that this person never existed is nothing less than devastating. At least to me it is. Not to mention the entire cast of characters that was also created in pulling off this deception. I’m still shaking my head. 

     The most heinous thing is the way she used her own children to perpetrate this story. How despicable can a person be? I shudder to think the life lessons they are learning here. 

     How am I doing? Here is an example of my thoughts over the last few days… 

     Oh look, Florida’s gay marriage is actually here! At least Dylan and I won’t… Wait, there is no Dylan. 

     I wonder if Dylan would like this garlic bologna… oh… there is no Dylan. 

     I need to really get on getting those season tickets to Disney for Boo… you dumb ass, that is never going to happen. 

     I wish Dylan was here so I wouldn’t have to get the ladder… shit… 

     It is hard to stop thinking about the person who I was expecting to be here in under a month. I wonder what excuse she was going to use to put off their leaving? I have a feeling it would have been something to do with the brain surgery and not being able to fly… a brain surgery that never happened on a person that never existed. Yeah, I’m a complete and total idiot. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around all this, obviously. 

     I would like to apologize to anyone who I may have introduced this monster into their lives. The responsibility is mine, and mine alone. I am truly sorry if you have been hurt in any way. 

      I know many of you have sent me private messages and tagged me in posts with well wishes. Thank you, one and all. However, right now I just can’t… well, just can’t. I’m sorry. I will get to them when I can. Until I can figure out…something, I don’t even know what to say. 

     Thank you, 

     Max